Tim, Erin and Charlotte

The Snow Beast

2012-01-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

"Snowpocalypse 2012" is upon us, resulting in something like 6 inches of snow piling up around our home. It'd been probably about 6 years since I'd really played in the snow, so while Charlie was napping I indulged my inner elementary schooler and made a snow man just her size.

After she woke up, had some snuggles and a diaper change, I took her out back to meet her new friend.

It went well. (Sarcasm, p.s.) She freaked if I put her down, so these are my attempts at pictures.

From above, while she clings for dear life to my leg.

The horror.

Sigh...maybe next year. For now we'll hunker down inside, eating mashed potatos and listening to Wicked...not a bad alternative, really :)

Snow

2012-01-16T11:38:00.000-08:00

Admiring the first snow of the season before church

After church, lunch, and a nap, we bundled up and headed out. Charlie immedietly face planted, but bounced back with minimal whining.

Grandpa came out to join in the fun.

Charlie started to enjoy herself, even if she didn't quite understand what was happening. PS - look at her mittens. So cute.

Snuggles

10 on 10

2012-01-11T12:03:00.000-08:00

Cozy feet...

Christmas candy...

Monsters...

Light reading...

Lunchtime...

Snuggles...

Christmastime

2011-12-22T10:47:00.000-08:00

Charlie is thoroughly enjoying Christmas and all the new things to get into.

Like...untying ribbons on presents

Posing for Christmas card pictures

Playing with lights

Waiting for Santa

Playing peek a boo

And eating lots of sugar

She's also a walking machine, even walking (and keeping up with me) in the mall, holding my hand, of course.

Finally getting past this mommy only stage, now excited to see all sorts of people, and freely going to them. She even cried when I took her from her daddy earlier this week - in the past it's been the other way around.

Running to the door whenever someone comes over or gets home, greeting them with squeals and grunts, and clinging to legs until she's picked up.

Getting slightly more interested in food.

Kissing everyone and everything with a sweet and precise peck.

Shaking her head no whenever she's asked a question. "Want a cookie?" Shakes head no, opens mouth and says "Aaaaahhh" to indicate she wants it.

Sleeping in her crib all night every third night...we're working on trimming this gap.

Wiping every surface can reach with kleenex - future neat freak?

Climbing on to furniture with no assistance.

Sporting a brand new molar.

Rocking a respectable rat tail.

If I don't post again in the next few days (which, lets face it, is likely),

Merry Christmas! And God bless us, every one

10 on 10

2011-12-11T11:41:00.001-08:00

A little greeting in Charlie's room...along with a cluster of Christmas trees

We started the day with coffee (for me), milk (for her), and a little Frosty

Reindeer kisses

Her favorite Charlie Brown Christmas musical book and a little ornament collection inherited from my grandma

Santa...not such a big hit with Charlie...along with a family shot with the big guy from when I was about two, and some colorful blocks

Big cheesy grins...too big to keep your eyes open for

Reading up on the flu vaccine she had no idea she was about to get

My beautiful nativity

Another of Grandma's Christmas ornaments...probably at least 50 years old

A goodnight kiss for her penguin ornament

Happy Holidays

2011-12-02T12:08:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow...

2011-11-29T09:49:00.001-08:00

...tomorrow is the day we'd expected to meet our little boy. The Lord had a different plan than we did, and after just 19 weeks of carrying this little life within me, he was taken to a Perfect Life for eternity.

How do you spend the day you thought you'd be meeting your child? Tim and I decided that it would be a day together...himself, Charlie and me. We're going to hunt for our Christmas tree, decorate it while sipping hot chocolate and listening to Christmas music and enjoy our family, even though our little boy isn't joining us.

It will be bitter sweet, enjoying family time, while missing Isaiah on his expected birthday.

We are so thankful for the little ball of energy we call Charlie, who will keep us laughing, and, probably on our toes, as she seeks to destroy the baby proof ornaments I stocked up on.

We miss our little boy every day, and are thankful for God's grace and the knowledge that we will meet one day.

^{Psalm 139:13} For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

We look forward to meeting you, sweet Isaiah.

10 on 10

2011-11-11T10:27:00.001-08:00

The start of every morning...after changing a diaper of course

These people are on top of things...

Despite this little girl being in the best mood I've ever seen her in, this is the face she made when I pulled out the camera

Tea party

Going for the camera

Pacifier positioning of choice

Reading together

Smiling sweetly

Baldies

Elmo and Ricky Gervais for Charlie while I made dinner

10 on 10

2011-10-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome Fall!

Snacks from Daddy, who took the day off

A trip to Costco - We need whole milk...a lot of whole milk

The only nap of the day. 20 minutes.

Watching Stranger Than Fiction

Getting into everything

A smile just for me

Pre bedtime Wii with Nana and Daddy

A toast to Columbus

A little Settlers with family

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesdays - Catch up

2011-10-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

Things have been a bit crazy around here, which has left little leisure time for such things as blogging. But, I'm still taking absurd amounts of pictures, so I present to you 4 weeks of Charlie's wears:

Here she is wearing a Carter's outfit I got at Costco for roughly $7. The plaid shirt has a little felt flower, and the jeggings are awesome, complete with jeans stitching.

This little velvet dress I found at a consignment store for $3 or so. You can't really see it, but there are bows on each shoulder and satin(ish) ruffles trimming the bottom. She's got a white H&M long sleeved onesie underneath, and the tights are actually part of her Halloween costume (Carters cow costume, from Costco for $12) On her head is a little white bow with black polka dots that I clipped onto a plain white headband, since she has no hair for me to attach it to. It felt like something Meg Ryan would have worn in You've Got Mail :)

Here she's rocking a birdie tank onesie that she got from Laura for her birthday - it's so cute that I will find ways for her to wear it throughout the winter, despite the lack of sleeves. She's wearing it with her almost too small H&M jeans from Alison and Jason, and a knit H&M sweater I found on sale for $5. So cute.

Which brings us up to date. This week she wore an outfit Andrew and Sara brought her on their visit a few months ago. The top has pale pink bows outlined all over it, and the jeans (which are soooo soft) have flowers embroidered onto them. Both are GAP. The shoes were found at TJ Maxx for $5, and I heart them. And, if you're wondering, she's reading The Little Red Hen. And holding my cell phone. What I wouldn't do to get her to sit still and smile like she used to!

There you have it! All caught up. Hopefully I'll be back soon to fill you in on our crazy lives.

One.

2011-09-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Charlotte Ellenor!

From my bitty 6lb 9 oz baby...

...to my beautiful 19lb girl.

Dear Charlie,

Your Daddy and I are so blessed to have you. This year has sped by in a blur of firsts (smile, laugh, roll, sleep through the night, solid food, tooth, the list goes on). Our love for you has grown with each day, and we can't believe what a sweet girl you are turning into.

You love to give hugs and kisses, wave at everyone, grin and giggle, and most of all, move. You are everywhere, getting into anything you can reach. I just found you with wasabi crisps in your hand...making me grateful that you don't put much in your mouth. You are adventurous - as long as I'm by your side - curious, and fearless, which often results in bumps and bruises.

You are always watching, always learning, and always wanting to know more. You love your family, love to shop (naturally), and love to read.

You don't like to crawl, instead you kind of swim across the floor, pushing with your toes and grabbing the floor ahead with your fingers.

You are starting to stand unsupported, for about 20 seconds at a time. You'll be walking within a month, I'm sure of it.

You're a bundle of energy, and keep me on my toes, but you always come back to my arms to snuggle. I love you, my Charlie. Happy first birthday!

There are gentle winds blowing

and stars all above you.

Night-night, little Pookie.

I love you and love you.

And love you and love you.

And love you and love you.*

*Taken from Night-Night, Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton

Charlie's Birdie Birthday

2011-09-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

We had a relatively small celebration of Charlie's first year last Sunday. The guest list was limited to immediate family and closest friends, and everyone (but my brothers - one sick and one hours away) was able to make it.

To keep Charlie chipper through the whole thing, I pushed all the "activities" to the start of the party, so if she crashed we wouldn't miss out on cake or presents or anything she is essential to.

After some time for eating we jumped into presents.

She loved the tissue...presents were less interesting.

Until she opened shoes, that is.

Then Pooh Bear...

And a book - she shook it to make sure it held up.

Matching aprons! Score!

More tissue. (PS - I made that headband, I forgot to put it in the decor post. Feathers, heavy paper and glue. Add in a touch of patience, and you have yourself a headband).

Following present time was cake time...Charlie was not so sure about this business. I opted for vegan cupcakes to protect us from discovering a food allergy during the party.

It's not often you see this face after presenting someone with a delicious treat.

She responded better when I fed it to her.

Kinda.

Enough already!

Ryan, Meghan and Laura hanging out in the post present mayhem.

After cake and presents we had no agenda, so football, games and food ruled the rest of the afternoon. Here, Papa and Mitsuki are wrestling a bit while Auntie Chie and Tim show Charlie how to hammer.

Snuggle time with Meghan - always one of Charlie's favorite activities.

And here is the girl herself, 4 hours after the party started, happily showing off her newest tooth.

Charlie did absolutely amazing, and seemed to love every minute. I love my big, happy girl.

(For those who care, her dress is Cherokee, $15, I got it on sale for $10.)

Made By Me Monday - a DIY Birthday Party

2011-09-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

Charlie's first birthday is coming up, and we had a small party for her on Sunday with family and closest friends. We were trying to keep the entire thing under $100, so that meant endless DIY projects for me. (And some commissioning...thanks Meg for cupcaking, Dad for pizza and super glue provisions, Chie for Jordan Almonding).

I'll share party pictures later, but here are the decor shots (mostly taken after the fact, cause I was too busy leading up to the party to care about documentation.)

The theme was either "Birdie Birthday" or "Put a Bird on it", depending on whether or not you're a Portlandia fan :)

Here goes. The front room.

I made endless amounts of paper pennants, using scrapbook paper I already had, relating to either birthdays or birds; yarn; and a paper cutter. Simple, yes. Time consuming, yes. With the excess paper from the solid colored pennants I cut out little abstract bird shapes and perched them on every ledge I could find. These items were through out every room , tying it all together.

I put up a folding table and wrestled a giant disposable tablecloth onto it, strategically taping to keep the size under control. This table held had table scatter (reusing the holes I punched out of the pennant garland paper); a rubber ducky; and a Jellybeans free download of two birds in a tree. So far, I spent $3 for the table cloth. Everything else I already had.
Streamers were placed here and there, since nothing says party like a little crepe paper, and bird toys that Charlie had were placed on every surface.

The entry way door and front window with pennants and bird. There was also streamers, a photo from Charlie's birth and 6 month photos, stuffed birds, and polka dot rubber duckys.

I hung paper lanterns leftover from a bridal shower from our chandelier, and to make it over the top, hung birdie stroller toys between them.

Chie had given me a book of beautiful postcards before Charlie was born, and I was able to find a bunch of bird ones to hang from our (overcrowded) bookcase. I also added various pictures of Charlie, blocks spelling her name, and stacking blocks with bird images. All stuff I already had, so our running total is still $3.

The table:

Here you can see the banner (held up by two birds, Disney style), artwork and duck.

I made some sugar cookies from a mix ($3, plus $2.50 for sprinkles - $5.50 total), but I forgot to take pictures before they started disappearing. Most were birds, but I made "One" for a change of pace.

Chie brought me meringue cookies the week before and those were added to the mix, and Meghan made vegan cupcakes with strawberry jam frosting (yum). I didn't want to introduce Charlie to new foods at her party, just in case, so vegan was a good route to go. I made the cupcake toppers with a free download, though I did buy the circles, for about $5, bringing us up to $10.50.

Not pictured - we also served pizza and nachos, care of Papa, Mike's Hard Lemonade ($20), pretzel sticks ($2) with Jordan almonds (from Chie) on top (to look like eggs in a nest), pasta salad ($6), Caesar salad, ($10), lemonade and cucumber water ($4), plates and napkins ($7) bringing us to $59.50.
The family room:

This room was done simply, with pennants and birdies on the fireplace and a banned I made for Tim's birthday over the window. Little bird books and toys were here and there.

The kitchen and dining room:
I took these pictures the next day, so picture heaps of food, and pink polka dot table cloth and Settlers of Catan laid out of the table.

So, there were streamers that I already had, pink and green lanterns left over from a baby shower, the table cloth from the same baby shower, bunting and birds.

The high chair was in the living room for the party, but regardless:

It already had a bird on it, so I added tiny bunting to make it festive.

When everything was said and done, the entire party, including gifts, was at $100. If you have questions on anything you see, let me know. Also, sorry for the weird lay out, I haven't gotten used to the new blogger format yet.

Sleeping and teething don't mix

2011-09-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think that the people who write parenting books have never met a child. And they certainly cannot be parents. To the one who wrote that teething should not alter a baby's sleeping schedule, I submit that you are ~~wrong~~ crazy.

Charlie has been doing great on a 2-3-4 schedule. (Nap 2 hours after wake up, 2nd nap 3 hours after end of 1st nap, bedtime 4 hours after end of 2nd nap, give or take a half hour.) She rarely fussed when put down for her naps, and almost never at night.

Enter teething (thunder crashes, scary music plays).

Somewhere in my sweet baby's mouth, hundreds of teeth are trying to get through. At least, that's what it seems like. We can't see any yet, but the shape of her gums are constantly in flux as, at the very least, the middle top two try to force their way out. Two nights ago she woke an hour after going down for the night, screaming. She fell asleep as soon as we took her out, but woke every time we laid her back down, resulting in a terrible nights co-sleep session. That girl takes up at least 3/4 of the bed. I was literally half on/half off the bed for a good portion of the night. I attempted twice to put her back in her crib in the middle of the night, to no avail.

Yesterday naps were hard to come by. The first one was a fight, and when she did fall asleep, she was out longer than normal, I think because no one slept well the night before, including the bed hog herself. The second one was a full on battle, and the stubborn girl simply sat up in her crib for an entire hour, waiting until my resolve broke.

Again, I put her down for bedtime, and an hour later she was screaming like she was on fire. We've heard that cry a few times: when she gets her shots, and when she has painful bowel movements. It took a long time to calm her down and coax her in to taking baby acetaminophen. We got her down again, but she soon woke screaming, and we brought her into our room while we read before bed. She promptly fell asleep and was successfully moved to her crib before Tim went to sleep. At about 5 am she scared Tim awake with a scream - one short scream - and he ran in there to find her sound asleep, but hitting her head repeatedly on the crib slats. He moved her a safe distance from the slats, and she woke up wailing. Back in to our bed, where I was able to calm her and snuggle her to sleep again. She slept, with a few interruptions to cry a bit, until 9 am.

Now, here we are, two hours later, and I'm listening to my fed, changed, sleepy child scream herself silly from her crib. Please Teeth, I am begging you...stop dragging your feet (roots?) and just come out already. It's been long enough.

10 on 10

2011-09-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Making decor for Charlie's birthday

Walking practice

Picking an outfit

Reading time

Remembering

Unsure about a car ride

Giant dahlia at a friends house

Admiring jewelry

Spinning

Wiped out

Link up here

Whats Charlie Wearing Wednesday(s)

2011-09-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

Buckle up...here comes three weeks worth of cuteness.

Pajama day...sometimes we here at the Fulton home are a bit...lazy. And sometimes jammies are too hilarious not to document. Resulting in the first ever (I think) pajama WCWW. We have a box of hand me downs from my nephew Mitsuki, and some of these gems are direct from Japan. Some of these Japanese items have non sensical ~~Engrish~~ English on them...like these bell bottoms.

The pants say (in cursive, no less) "Nice to meet you. Love, Kids Zoo". Awesome. And, as usual, the top is a simple white onesie from Carters. Moving on...

Our friends Andrew and Sara were here last week from Santa Rosa to meet Charlie. Charlie was immediately showered with gifts, and she got some awesome boots that were sent with them from our other friends, Alison, Jason, and little Cora. Here's Charlie rocking her Hatley rain boots, which are covered in little birds and flowers (and totally match the coat that Sara and Andrew gave her.)

She's also wearing a Carter's top bought with a little pink and white polka dot romper at Costco for $5ish way back when. And, the H&M jeans she's sporting are also from Alison and Jason, sent before either she or Cora were born. We had an awesome time with Andrew and Sara (and their little boy on the way) and can't wait to see them and meet the Superbaby. We're hoping we'll get to see Alison and Jason and finally meet Cora sometime this year too.

Lastly, yesterday Charlie played the part of a ballerina (until she pulled her bib off and covered her shirt in peach puree.)

She is wearing a white onesie ruffle tee from H&M ($3, I think), a Circo tutu with polka dots under the tulle ($6), and a interchangeable flower headband from an Etsy shop that no longer exists.

The stubborn girl no longer wants to sit and pose, hence the book and standing shots. But, she's still stinking adorable, so I'll let it slide.

Charlie, The Dog Whisperer

2011-09-06T10:19:00.001-07:00

Eleven Months

2011-09-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

Somehow my tiny just over 6 pound baby has turned into a whopping 18.8 pound almost toddler. This means many things...less inclined to sleep, more inclined to climb, no time to waist smiling for the camera, getting into everything, and many more bonks and bangs.

It's really a shame that she won't smile for the camera any more, cause her little grin is a show stopper. She's fearless, as anyone ignorant to consequence might be, attempting to launch herself over the back of the couch, off the bed, through the crib rails...whatever is nearby. With one clear exception. Boys are terrifying. Especially boys with facial hair. While this could come in handy in high school, we're trying to work her through it for now.

She is getting closer to standing on her own, and is happiest when she's able to stand and bounce for long periods of time. She's still rocking two teeth, but all signs point to at least 6 more getting ready to pop (please soon, please soon). Currently, her favorite toy is an empty bottle of ginger ale, go figure.

She has gotten increasingly more giggly, something she used to make you work for, so that has been a lot of fun. She has also gone from screaming angrily whenever a book was opened (they were delightful as long as they stayed closed) to loving books, especially Pat the Bunny. I think she's memorized it, cause her hands immediately fly to the activities, her favorite being Peek A Boo.

Speaking of peek a boo, this is an all day, every day game. Anything in her hands becomes a hiding place. She's learned to snatch it in different directions for an element of surprise, and is always thrilled when we respond with a "Boo!"

Being eleven months is tiring business. I can't believe she's almost a year old!

I Heart Faces - Beautiful Eyes

2011-08-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

Charlotte has the most beautiful blue eyes, so this seemed like a natural one to enter with a recent snapshot.

Link your own picture here.

Heaven Is For Real

2011-08-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

I judgmental. I admit it. I make snap judgments about a lot of different things. I also suffer from the "I Went to a Christian College" disorder which can make some of us (me) think we know better than others. I'm working on it.

With that graceful preface, you can see why I would turn my nose up at something claiming that a child went to Heaven and then came back. I made my snap judgment that this would be a fluffy "walk into the light" story that had nothing to do with Jesus, and made blanket statements like "everyone goes to Heaven," or "all paths lead to Heaven."

But, my mother in law handed it to me, and told me that she also had presuppositions about the book and it surprised her. So, curiosity getting the better of me, I opened it.

I was humbled almost immediately. I went from an attitude of "This book is a big fat lie," to, "Could this actually have happened?" to, finally, "I believe this kid."

This is the story of a 3 year old named Colton, who was brought to the brink of death. Over the next few years, he told his parents snippets of his experience while he was in surgery, beginning with simply telling him angels sang to comfort him - only songs about Jesus, not "We will, We will Rock You," like he requested. Eventually he told them details about what he saw them doing while he was in surgery in a different room, and details about his time in Heaven that are straight from Scripture. Things a three year old - even a pastor's son, which he is - wouldn't ordinarily know. He spoke about things that defy our understanding of time, he spoke about meeting his great grandfather, and also about meeting his sister - a baby lost to miscarriage. He talks about Jesus sitting at the right hand of God the Father - who is really big. He spent time sitting on Jesus lap, being taught by Him.

I cried as I read about him meeting his sister, who told him she was so excited for her parents to join her. Tim walked in while I was crying, so I read him the chapter, and he is now reading it, and also believes this story. I won't say more, because I don't want to take away from it if you are planning to read it, but this book has changed my vision of Heaven.

I know that I can't wrap my head around what Heaven is like, but I always imagined it being really crowded for some reason...like every believer ever is in a snow globe trying to get closest to Jesus. But the way Colton describes it, it's so personal. He sat on Jesus' lap. He was sought out by family. He wasn't elbowing his way through crowds, or searching for those he knew. Everything was just right for him. It's making me think differently.

Most of all, Colton assures us, you have to know Jesus to go to Heaven. The idea of someone dying without Christ is absolutely devastating to him. Heaven is for real, and Jesus is the only means of getting there.

Read it. Let me know what you think.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-08-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ten on ten and Wednesday landed on the same day...what a conundrum. So, at the risk of being repetitive and redundant (and repetitive and redundant...name that show), Here are more pictures from the same day! And, to be totally honest, one of the same pictures, cropped differently. Call me lazy.

We love classic prints around here, so I flipped for this Gingham number from Carters. I found it at Fred Meyer for $10, a bit of a splurge, but I made an exception since it included pants that could be worn with other outfits.

So there you have it...now I'm going to scramble and try to get ready for my day before this one wakes from her nap.

Ten on 10

2011-08-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-08-06T14:18:00.001-07:00

Aside from a coon skin cap and Art Garfunkel style hair, Charlie is wearing a chevron dress from GAP outlet.

We had a busy and fun day, playing with familyand later playing with daddy on his one night off this week.

Doesn't the picture of Charlie with Mitsuki remind you a bit of this, or is it just me?

On hope, where it comes from and why we have it

2011-08-02T22:38:00.001-07:00

I have been so blessed by the outpouring of support that has come from friends near and far. I was directed to a blog called 4 Day to Eternity, created by a family who lost their son Mason after 4 days with him. As part of their ministry, they send the book Safe in the Arms of God (truth from Heaven about the death of a child) by John MacArthur, to anyone who has lost a baby.

We know of the couple, Chris and Anna, because we briefly went to college together. If I remember right, Chris was a senior my freshman year. The college president happens to be John MacArthur. We were so happy to receive this book, knowing it was full of truths that would take us a long time to discover ourselves.

I think it's natural to wonder what happens to babies that die. I am so thankful for this book, which answers that question with biblical support, something vitally important to us.

We already know that God knows us from the womb. The passage assuring us of that was what we clung to as we waited in the hospital.

"For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made....You saw my unformed substance, in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Ps. 139:13-14, 16

Excerpts from the book:

"You may think you 'made' your baby. Not so. God made your baby and breathed life into him or her. Your child is His creation." 19

"Your child has never been beyond the loving care and concern-or the watchful eye-of the Lord." 22

"He does not allow a conception that is beyond His sovereign plan and purposes." 23

Dr. MacArthur addresses the topic of the sin nature, inherent in all humans because of Adam's original sin. Having this sin nature means that eventually when faced with a choice between right and wrong, we will inevitably pick to do wrong. This begs the question, are babies condemned to hell because they are carriers of the sin nature, despite never having chosen to sin?

Because we are born with a sin nature; "we cannot say that babies who die go to heaven because they are 'sinless.' Rather, babies who die go to heaven because God is gracious." 72

Throughout Scripture, God refers to children as "The innocents." (See Jer. 2:34 and 19:4 for examples). "Though fallen creatures like all Adam's offspring, infants are not culpable in the same sense as those whose sins are will full and premeditated." 35

"The Scripture weighs very heavily toward the fact that innocent children are in heaven, redeemed and dwelling in the presence of God." 41

Though babies do not have the ability to accept Christ, Christ is gracious to accept them. Quoting John Calvin, MacArthur says, "Those little children have not yet any understanding to desire His blessing, but when they are presented to Him, He gently and kindly receives them, and dedicates them to the Father by a solemn act of blessing." 60

"The saving grace given to an infant who as no part whatsoever in his salvation is a perfect example of salvation, which is always wrought sovereignly by God through grace." 77

"If we understand God by His nature as a Savior (see 1 Tim. 1:1; 4:10), is it not the truest expression of God's heart that He chooses to save infants?" 79

I'll end with this:

"Yes, children are in need of a Savior.

"Yes, God has provided a Savior for them, Jesus Christ.

"Yes, all children who die before they reach a state of moral awareness and culpability in which they understand their sin and corruption--so that their sins are deliberate--are graciously saved eternally by God through the work of Jesus Christ. They are counted as elect by sovereign choice because they are innocent of willful sin, rebellion, and unbelief, by which works they would be justly condemned to eternal punishment." 89-90

These are small snippets of the comfort this book, written through searching of the Scriptures, can give. There is so much more, but I'll leave it here.

We know Isaiah is with Christ, free from all the pain and hardship, as well as the sin and temptation of this world. We do not grieve that he is with Christ, we grieve only for ourselves, for our empty arms, for the son we can't know until we are reunited. He has gone ahead of us...but we will be reunited in Perfection.

If you have questions, please let me know, I'll do my best to answer or direct you to someone who can.

On us, three weeks later

2011-08-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a month since Isaiah was taken Home. How are we doing? I don't really know.

Most of the time we're fine.

Physically:

I'm pretty much healed from the delivery. This helps a lot, I think, with the fits of anger I had the first two weeks after he left us. My appetite, after an initial decrease, is back to normal. Unfortunately, my hair, which has just started growing back from my post-Charlie-pardem hair loss, coming back in wild wings in awkward places, is now falling out again. This is very frustrating, not to mention disgusting. I can't pick Charlie up from the floor without then having to pluck obscene amounts of hair from between her toes and fingers...sigh.

I am still very tired. No one told Charlie that mommy's body is recovering from chaos, and filling to the brim with excess hormones, so she's being the busy 10 month old she is, and I'm doing my best to keep up on about 6 hours of sleep a night.

Emotionally:

Initially I had such a great perspective on this whole thing. The baby center we were in plays a little lullaby every time a baby was born, and as I labored to birth our stillborn son, I surprised myself with being happy for those mommy's who were marvelling over their new baby. I had expected to be bitter, but I was so glad that they were spared from my pain. I also surprised myself to discover that it's now that I'm bitter. I see pregnant women everywhere, and experience varying levels of jealousy, from slight (generally people I know) to extreme (strangers). I see people carrying newborns or playing with their baby boys and feel a lot of self pity. Why did this have to happen to us, is a common refrain in my mind.

I've learned the things that will set me off - some I can avoid (gazing at the baby boy clothes at H&M and thinking of what I would be buying had things gone differently), some I can't (pregnant women are every where. You can't dodge 'em.)

I often want to feel numb. I have a stack of cards and a dried rose from a flower arrangement waiting to find their place in the keepsake box from the hospital. Although the box is sitting in my line of vision most of the day, I dread opening it, and feeling the pain that, in a way, I've buried in it. As long as I don't open that box, see his tiny footprints, the notes from our nurses, the reminders of the son who went ahead of us, I can contain myself. I don't have to feel.

It's a really hard thing, grieving for someone who was such a large part of you, but whom you never knew. I don't really know how to do it. For 19 weeks he was growing in me, reminding me he was there first with cravings for salty foods, then spicy foods, then with the nudges that a mother can't get enough of. Then he was gone. In my arms for the briefest moment, then presented to me as ashes in a little wooden box. It's almost surreal. I told a friend recently that sometimes I feel like I'm recovering from a disease. I was hospitalized, sent home to recover, then sent a nice big bill as a reminder. There's no baby at my breast, no first smiles to wait eagerly for, just another bill to stress over.

Tim is experiencing this in an entirely different way. When he told his coworkers that we lost the baby, the reaction, for the most part was, "Oh yeah, I knew someone who had a miscarriage once. That sucks." and on they go with whatever work related thing they have.

To say "That sucks" to someone who actually held his dead child in his arms doesn't cut it. I watched my husband sob when the nurse sadly said, "A little baby boy," as she wrapped him up for us to hold. Tim clung to him, holding him longer than even I did, kissing his face, gazing at his hands, already missing the boy we'll never know. So, I'm beyond frustrated that his coworkers aren't more sympathetic, and even more so that some of them hold grudges over having to cover for him for those three days he took to be with me in the hospital and at home while we grieved.

Reading this through, it kinda sounds like we're a mess. Sometimes we (usually me) are. But day to day, we're doing really well. We have hope and faith that Isaiah is with Christ in Heaven, and that eases the blow of his loss immensely. It enables us to pull ourselves, or eachother, from despair. To seek strength in the Lord. To be better parents to Charlie, not taking her for granted. This post was written purely from my human response to my loss, but there's a lot more to it.

We have hope, and I'm going to tell you about it. Read on, friends.

10 Months Old

2011-07-31T15:33:00.001-07:00

This goofy girl is ten months old! She is definitely her own person now, with clear opinions, a quirky sense of humor and an overly adventurous spirit.

Here she was attempting to wrangle the camera. Successfully. She's into everything, "Charlie-crawling" any where she wants to be. I just caught her in a cubby of our bookcase, spinning the three globes that rest there. She's just started pulling up on anything (or anyone) she can reach, and loves nothing more than things that aren't toys.

It is now impossible to get her to be still for a picture. The majority of the pictures I've taken lately are of the top of her cute little head. Which is still quite bald. But considering that's where she wipes her food covered hands after a meal, maybe bald isn't so bad.

Also:

She's up to three meals a day with plenty of bottles between.

She's way to long for any of her pants...good thing it's finally summer weather.

She's learned to give kisses...very friendly kisses :)

She claps like it's going out of style.

When playing peek a boo, she now hides for up to 30 seconds before pulling away from whatever object she's using with a "Da!"

She still doesn't use any words discriminately, but she does jabber a lot.

She averages 9 hours of sleep a night, three hours of naps a day.

Shoes make her happy. Just like her mama.

She's back in her crib, with no sign of missing her tiny pack'n'play.

She's still rocking two teeth, but actively working on a third.

She is violently opposed to green veggies, meat, and cinnamon.

She is daring, throwing herself to where she wants to be, and has bumps and bruises to prove it.

She is never happier than when you are helping her flip, dangling her upside down, or letting her scale furniture.

She's awesome.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-07-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

Last week was unseasonably cool, even for Seattle, so long pants were sported all week. Here, Charlie is wearing a ruffle onesie from Old Navy, found on clearance for somewhere around $2.

The pants are Carter's from a set with a long sleeved onesie - a gift. And the socks were also a gift, I'm not sure of the brand, but they originally had little rosebuds sewn all over them. Those were removed after a couple of wears, leaving us with little mary janes.

This is the second top that I put Charlie in for these pictures - teething = puking around these parts, so wardrobe changes are constant...these are also the first pictures of her holding herself up without someones hands hovering behind to catch her if she falls. Which she did - flat on her back. Oops.

Both the top and pants are Old Navy, both clearance for under $3 a pop. The pants (which have gold polka dots change from Capri's to Bermuda shorts, and were such a good deal I bought them in multiple colors and sizes...Tomorrow Charlie will be 10 months old, so we'll be posting more pictures soon, as well as what she's up to these days. I'm still working out a post with an update on how we're doing post-Isaiah, so that should appear soon too. Have a good day, friends!

Charlie's New Stuff

2011-07-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

The girl is growing. Rapidly. So, I've been shopping. Thriftily.

I have been waiting and waiting for these to go on sale. They were $10 at Target, yesterday I found them for $4.

I love Melissa&Doug products. I found they're wooden blocks on sale at the As Seen on TV store at the Supermall of all places. $13.

I've been smushing her feet into size 3's for months, so I caved and got her a bunch of size 4 & 5's.

Koala's - $3 st Old Navy, Pink Mary Janes - free at TJ Maxx with gift card (Thanks Chie!), Pink Patent Leather Mary Janes - $3 at Kid to Kid consignment shop, Blue sandals - $6 at Old Navy, Fuchsia boots - $3 at Kid to Kid.

Melissa&Doug stacking boxes, free at TJ Maxx

Charlie's wardrobe has so far been primarily provided by baby shower gifts. She's now reached the size where people rarely give gifts in, so I'm slowly stocking up on 18 & 24 month items. Here's what I have from Kid to Kid (total spend, probably less than $30)

Lots of fleece Carter's sleepers for the winter

Cherokee sweater dress, Old Navy gingham dress

Cherokee motorcycle jacket, Gymboree rain coatChristmas Carter's sleepers - snowmen and penguins

In my experience with baby shopping, patience and scavenging used clothing saves you a TON. Everything goes on sale, and you can nearly always find the "current styles" used. (Cause baby styles change all the time, right?)

So, there you have it. Grown up stuff for my growing up baby.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-07-15T21:50:00.001-07:00

Charlie is becoming a ham as she gets older. She knows what to do when the camera comes out (most of the time), though she's having more trouble sitting still than she used to.

This outfit was a gift from our friend Zib. It's a little Carter's ditty, complete with ruffle butt, and a bee embroidered on the front. Cute, easy on, easy off, what more could you want?

See what I mean about the ham? That third picture cracks me up. It barely even looks like her. This outfit is from our friend Laura, and she brought it back from a shop in Australia, called Charlie Belle, believe it or not. It's so cute with the patchwork elephant and super ruffle butt.

As for the rest of us, we're doing pretty well. Tim is back to more than full time work (but he has this weekend off to celebrate our 7th anniversary), I'm coming out of my funk a bit, even going so far as to clean two different rooms today. I'm blessed to have many friends willing to distract me or listen to me, depending on my mood. Charlie is ever moving, keeping me on my toes. She's still resistant to crawling, but the allure of things out of reach is getting to her, so I don't think her resistance will hold much longer.

Physically, I'm still dealing with contractions as my body returns to normal, which is emotionally challenging, because a lot of the movements I feel are so similar to baby movements. It doesn't help the yearning to hold my baby when I feel like he's still in there squirming around, and have to remind myself that he's gone.

Blessedly, Charlie has been a joy. The past two days she's woken too early, so I've given her a bottle and then laid her on my chest until she falls back asleep. Then, two hours or so later, I wake to a tiny finger tracing down my nose, and open my eyes to huge blue ones staring back and giddy laughter. It's been the highlight of my day. Tonight she woke up 45 minutes after I put her to bed, and as I held her and coaxed her back to sleep she gazed at me with heavy eyes and just grinned and giggled herself to sleep. She's also been extra cuddly, holding me together when I feel like I might fall apart. She's such a blessing. I love her.

In a parallel universe...

2011-07-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

...I would be getting ready to go find out I was having a boy, instead of getting ready to pick our car up from the shop.

...I would be meeting my friend Meghan there, and she would play with and distract Charlie.

...I would be heading to the store to buy this, and putting it in a box with a blue balloon that would float out when opened.

...I would be driving to Tim's office to surprise him with said box.

It was going to be a great day.

Truthfully, I don't always have the holiest outlook on this situation.

Yesterday I sat down with my coffee, looked at Tim and burst into tears, complaining that my "human" summer clothes (read, not maternity) were out of style. He offered to take me shopping for new clothes, and I got even weepier, saying, "But I don't want to wear regular clothes! I want to be pregnant!" Poor guy. He couldn't win.

I wish, much to frequently, for a mulligan. Just a little trek back to a few weeks ago, and everything could go differently.

I continually scold myself for having complained about anything pregnancy related, and for worrying about logistics instead of enjoying the life within me.

Grieving is an unpredictable process, one I sometimes handle with grace, and other times with petty selfishness and whining.

If I'm being honest.

There's no real point to this post, just thoughts running through my head, needing an outlet.

For my birthday, I had a son

2011-07-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

(This will be long, and hard...feel free to skip it. I just want to log it while it's fresh in my memory, and this is pretty much the only place I write...)

Wednesday July 6th, I went in for my 19 week OB exam. I was vaguely worried, because I'd been feeling the baby move for a few weeks, and the last 4 days or so I hadn't. I'd also noticed that suddenly things were too spicy...and impossibility the week before. I pushed these things out of my head and walked through the office doors. A half hour later, the fear I'd refused to acknowledge was confirmed as my doctor fruitlessly searched for the baby's heartbeat. She wheeled in an ultrasound machine, keeping it turned away from me, then took me to a bigger ultrasound machine and showed me my little baby, and its missing heartbeat.

I was given a few minutes to collect myself and call Tim, then was given an insane amount of information about how to proceed, most of which bounced right off of my ringing ears. I came away with the understanding that one way or another, I was delivering our tiny beloved baby on Friday.

Thursday afternoon I was given laminaria, a seaweed based induction agent. I went home to let the process start overnight. Friday morning, Tim and I checked into the birth center, were put in a secluded room (they were sensitive to keep us apart from evidence of live births) and introduced us to our nurse, Evie. I began sobbing as soon as the nurse entered the room, so she gave us some time to come to terms with the reason we were there. Soon after that, my OB came in and removed the laminaria and started me on cytotec, which would continue my dilation and kick start labor. For the next several hours I experienced increasingly stronger contractions while Tim and I researched names with beautiful and hopeful meanings. We tucked prospective names in the back of our minds, and read Psalm 139 for comfort. We discussed God's grace upon unborn babies, and our faith that He was already holding this little one I was cherishing in my womb.

Tim's parents brought Charlie in to see us, since it had become clear that this wouldn't be a quick process, and we would be spending our first night away from her. Unfortunately, this time was when my contractions started getting more painful, and I had to stop everything when I had one - about every 4-5 minutes. I hung in for awhile, but could tell I was grouchy and impatient, so we called for an epidural and said goodbye to Charlie and Tim's parents. It was about 4:00. The epidural was given around 4:45, and it hurt. A lot. I said "Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow," which surprised Tim, because I tend to be silent in my pain, but as soon as the medicine started I completely forgot that there was ever pain. Pretty soon I felt no pain, just a lot of heaviness in my legs. I was completely paralyzed, and my feet were hanging heavily off the bed (this is one time that long legs was not a blessing). I continually made Tim shift my leg to a more comfortable position, and was amazed that he could lift those 1000 ton things.

At this point I was given another dose of cytotec, and told how I was progressing. My dad came to visit after this exam, and just sat with us for a few hours. We talked a little, watched some How I Met Your Mother, and just whiled away the time. He left around 7, and Tim and looked at names a little more. Our nurses switched. Maria tended to my every need, almost seemed to know them before I told her. My blood pressure had been low and inconsistent ever since the epidural, so she called the anaesthesiologist in the adjust my dosage, and she checked on me constantly. I was given meds to bring my blood pressure back up, and then I tried to sleep, and Tim fell asleep immediately. A few hours later I felt the pressure shift, and I new I was about to deliver. It was about 11:00, and I started saying, "Tim." Nothing. "Tim. Tim. TIM. TIM!" Finally, he woke, and called the nurse, trying to explain what I had told him, ending with "but you should probably come talk to her, cause I'm half asleep." Maria came in, and saw that the water bag was coming, called the doctor and told me just to breathe.

My doctor came in, explained what she was seeing, and then told me she had an emergency c-section to do, and asked me to fight against the urge to push, she'd be back in a half hour. Another doctor was made aware, and a few minutes later I woke Tim again (he was tired) and told him it was time, and get the nurse now.

Maria, a doctor and another nurse came in. Despite my not pushing, the intact water bag holding the baby had slipped out with the help of contractions. I pushed to get the placenta out, though I couldn't feel if I was pushing, so I was constantly apologizing and asking if I was doing it. Eventually the doctor opened the bag, and the baby was cleaned.

The nurse told us "It's a little boy," and Tim began sobbing. They brought him to us, and Tim held him first. He was the size of my hand, not fully formed, but his tiny face already had similarities to Charlie's face, his hands, smaller than dimes had all their fingers, and the smallest fingernails you can imagine. His feet were the same way, tiny and beautiful.

I held my son in my arms just after midnight, as the day became my 30th birthday. He looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping, cradled in my hands. I looked at Tim, and, in my post delivery haze, I said, "I know we haven't talked about this name, but what about Isaiah, since we've found such comfort in the Isaiah 139 passage?" Tim immediately agreed that it was perfect, and seconds later we realized that the passage was Psalm 139, but we didn't care. His name was Isaiah. It came out of nowhere, but fit better than any of the other names we'd discussed.

We passed him back and forth between us, took pictures, touched his tiny hands, and talked with him. I told him I loved him, that I was so sorry he couldn't stay with us, and that we would always miss him.

Eventually we gave him to the nurse, sobbing. She carefully took hand and footprints, made a mold of his footprints, and called the photography company to schedule an early morning session. They told her that they only do pictures for babies 20 weeks or older, so this amazing woman bought a disposable camera, dressed our baby and took pictures in the studio for us. She was amazing, going above and beyond in every way.

It was about 2 am, and Tim and I went to sleep. I woke a few hours later, and Maria changed my bedding and whispered, "Next time, He will have a happier ending for you." She then told me Isaiah's measurements, 9 ounces, 7.9 inches. She told me she'd taken the pictures, and we could get them developed when we were ready, and put a fabric keepsake box on my bedside table, telling me to open it later.

In the morning I opened the box and found cards from the whole nursing staff, the mold of his footprints, cards with his hand and footprints, a tiny blue teddy bear, a journal, a sachet and a few other trinkets.

A few hours later we were discharged.

I was dreading sharing my birthday with this event. But, as it unfolded, I found it to be so much more peaceful and healing than I expected. If you can only hold your baby one time, it should be on a momentous and memorable day...I love that I share my birthday with him. It can't be overlooked or forgotten, it's a part of my life.

He will be missed and longed for every day, but we know that the Lord is holding him close. Isaiah's name means "Yahweh is my salvation," and that is where our comfort lies. His accidental name is perfect.

Psalm 139:13-16

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.

Made By Me Monday/4th of July

2011-07-05T12:03:00.001-07:00

I hope everyone had a happy 4th! I had a lot of fun dressing Charlie up in red white and blue, playing Monopoly with Tim and eating a giant meal of ribs, corn on the cob, salad, watermelon and bread, followed by strawberry shortcake at my dad's.

Charlie wasn't so excited about posing for a picture initially, but Tim and I stuck with it, and got some cute shots of the Squirt. Notice the red shoes...I have some very similar:
For the Made By Me Monday portion, I attempted to make

white chocolate strawberries with blue sugar sprinkles. But, I couldn't find the sprinkles. So, I went with red white and blue candy sprinkles. The didn't turn out as pretty as I'd hoped, and before I was half way done the chocolate clumped up and caramelized...so we got a few festive strawberries out of the deal. But they tasted good!

We didn't blow up, or even watch any fireworks (we saw one by accident while we were loading the car.) We were more concerned with getting Charlie to sleep despite the noise and keeping her cool on such a toasty evening. But we're fine with that. Explosives aren't really our thing.

Did you do anything fun and delightful?

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday (Belated)/39 Weeks/9 Months

2011-07-05T11:40:00.001-07:00

It's unbelievable to me that my baby has been here for 9 full months. It just so happened that her 39 week mark and her 9 month mark both landed last Wednesday.

Charlie was born at 39 weeks exactly, so she's been in this world as long as she resided in my belly. I loved feeling her roll around in there, but I definitely prefer to snuggle her in my arms.

Okay, down to business. Charlie is wearing:

A romper by Carters, bought at Costco, for something like $5.

Done with business.

9 month Charlie:

Has little enough hair that I have to sunscreen the top of her head, but enough hair that sunscreen makes it do this:

Has finally found an appreciation for the sun, so walks and parking lots have become more enjoyable.

She sleeps through the night most of the time, sleeping anywhere from 7:30-8:30 pm until 7:30 to 8:30 am. And the people rejoiced. She sleeps in such strange positions, however, that after Tim checks on her before bed I've been know to ask him, "Does she look happy, sleepy and awkward?" If the answer is yes to these questions, we're probably in for a good nights sleep.

She is completely weaned, though she will still attempt to climb down my shirt on occasion. She drinks her weight in formula (you think I'm kidding...) so we're grateful that she's a fan of the Kirkland Signature stuff ($16! Bargain).

She's finally fitting into size three diapers, after an awkward phase where size 2 was too small and size 3 were giant.

She won't crawl. She will flip the top half of her body sideways and push herself along by her feet in a pinch, dragging her head along the ground.

She's rather be standing (with help) or walking (with help) than doing almost anything.

She LOVES any crunchy baby snacks, but it takes an army to get her to eat jar food.

She's napping consistently for an hour plus! And the people rejoice again.

She's saying everything you'd expect a 9 month old to say, but so far hasn't seemed to connect words with objects or people.

She loves giving zerbits and eating peoples faces. I'm not kidding, she literally chews on any girls face that will come near enough. No boys though.

She claps constantly, climbs over people, and loves to show off her two shiny teeth.

That's probably as much and more than any of you wanted to know, but gushing is in a mom's job description.

Momentarily you will see 4th of July fun. Stay tuned.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-06-22T14:14:00.001-07:00

Summer is here! However short lived :)

Whale Romper - Carters, $5ish from Costco

Headband - won from Etsy shop Buds Buttons and Bows (The flowers snap on, so they're interchangable), but as far as I can tell the shop is no longer on Etsy.

Enjoy the blip of warm weather!

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday (Saturday)

2011-06-18T10:53:00.001-07:00

Shirt - Circo, on sale at Target for $3

Skirt - Osh Kosh, shower gift

Tights - Trumpettetoo, Christmas gift from Meghan, which now actually fit :)

This week was full of friends and outings, to help distract Charlie from her hatred of weaning. The good news is, the last three days she's hardly put up a fight. And the reason for that is the cunning logic of my husband.

I had been forcing Charlie to take formula during the day, only nursing her in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morning. I was so discouraged and exhausted from the battle, and on a good day barely got her into the double digits with ounces of formula. Tim pointed out that our stubborn but brilliant child was probably just holding out for the middle of the night when she knew she'd get her way, and that it had to stop.

There was a half hour battle at 3:00 that morning, and I didn't get her back to bed until 5, but when I did she had three ounces of formula in her belly. She proceeded through the day to get to 16 ounces, an all time high. She went to bed at 7:30 and slept through till 6am. 18 ounces and virtually no arguing later she went to bed at 9:30 (we were celebrating Papa's birthday so we stayed out late). She woke up this morning at 5:45...awesome. An hour and 15 minutes later she went back to her bed with 5 ounces in her belly and not so much as a peep. She woke again at 8:45, drank three more ounces (8 already! Wow!), half a jar of apple pear oatmeal and played happily until 11 when I put her down for a nap.

I had no idea that changing that one nighttime habit would change the entire day so dramatically. It was so hard on both of us to constantly fight each other, and feedings could be a two hour process. I wish I had cut the middle of the night feeding weeks ago so we could have lived together peacefully and happily...but I'll be content with everything being wonderful now.

These pictures were intended to be done individually - one with a D, one with an A, so on, until Daddy was spelled out, but Charlie wasn't up for it. So, with crazy antics from a very helpful friend, we got these out smiles of her, so Charlie now has a Father's Day present for Tim. At least, once we pick up the print and a frame, make a card and wrap it all up.

Hope you all have a great weekend and happy Father's Day :)

Made By Meghan's Mom Monday

2011-06-13T11:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday our friends Ryan and Meghan came over for pizza and games. Meghan's mom had just visited, which generally means gooey homemade cinnamon rolls for us :) This time she also sent along these little knitted shoes, made in the style of Robees, stretchy and adorable.

We had a great time eating LOTS of Papa Murphys (new Thai pizza...amazing), playing Settlers, making paper cranes for an upcoming wedding, and stuffing Charlie full of puffs.

Ten on Ten

2011-06-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

(I don't think people usually explain their 10 on 10 pictures, but I feel like these look like they were all taken at the same time. I did take these one an hour for 10 hours, believe me. It was a crazy day.)

A lot of our day looked like this:
Reacting to having breakfast from a bottle (weaning is still not going well, ten days later.)
So violent was the reaction that I put her back to bed and tried again when she woke up. Sometimes switching to a sippy cup helps...unless it's upside down...

A little play time between grumpy spells. Here we are playing Keep Away (with the camera)

A much needed excursion. Papa took us for long trips to Target and IKEA, where naturally we dressed Charlie up like a goof ball.

Never too young for bling.

Entertaining the tired girl at IKEA while we enjoyed hot dogs and mochas.

Conked out after the drive home.

A walk around the yard to see how our plants are doing. (Not good, if you're wondering. This, and the lavender are the only things blooming.)

Night night, tired grumpo. Here's to a happier day tomorrow.

A sweet treat to finish out the day.

(Revised) What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday...a month full

2011-06-08T13:15:00.001-07:00

I somehow completely left a week out...so behold the correct weekly sequence:

Yes, I'm way overdue on these...but I've had other things on my mind :)

Here we go:
Pink sweater- Circo, $6
Zebra tank onesie - Gap clearance, $2
Pants and socks - Carters, gifts
Romper - Carters, gift
Socks - Kid's Korner "gift"*

Sweater - Circo, $4

Top - Carters (came with a pink polka dot romper, but it wasn't warm enough) $7 from Costco

Pants - Carters, gift, came with a long sleeved onesie

These pictures were taken at friend Laura's house (except the last one which was taken during playtime. No chair pictures that day.

Mermaid Jammie's - Carter's $10 from Costco (we don't really use them as Jammie's, cause they're stinking cute, so we call them day wear)

Dress (or jacket, I can't tell) - Carter's, free at consignment store with trade-in

Onesie - Carters, part of a $10 4 piece cow set from Costco

Tights - consignment store, $3

Boots - Old Navy $6

*story behind the socks - they may look like any old sock, but their kinda sorta a gift from my mom. Years ago she had bought two girl sleepers and a 4 pack of socks, I assume for a shower, but they wound up in a box in my parents room. When I found them last year, I asked dad if I could have them for Charlie. So, to Charlie they're her presents from "Ama".

Improvements in sleeping, feeding and my mood

2011-06-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been talking a lot about my struggles lately. And, ladies, you have encouraged me so much. Hearing first hand about people with kids 14-18 months apart who love each other and dote on each other eased my mind a lot. And hearing from other mom's who were surprised with a pregnancy that they spent less time learning each detail of what was happening in their bellies, and more time worrying about how they would handle it help ease the guilt I was feeling for stressing over lack of money and lack of sleep, for "robbing" Charlie of only child time, for not trusting in what is clearly God's plan.

Thank you.

For those of you who prayed for my strength, sanity and patience, thank you. All of these things have been stretched to breaking this week as Charlie and I both struggle with weaning, and without a support system of prayer to help me spiritually and arms willing to help me physically, I don't think it would be going nearly as well.

So, thank you.

Things are getting dramatically easier, and this directly helps Charlie and I to be happier with each other. Let's start with sleep. Last I told you, we were on indefinite hiatus from CIO - or any sleep training, really. Tim was banished to the couch and Charlie somehow took over 90% of the bed. This was negatively affecting the sleep of all three of us, and Tim and I having any semblance of quality alone time.

The problem was, Charlie was physically coming to harm in her crib. She would have scrapes and broken skin all over her bald shiny head from the crib slats. We added a breathable bumper (she has a tendency to put her face against anything soft, so we weren't comfortable with a thick bumper) and it kept her limbs in place, but didn't protect her noggin. Eventually I realized we have a perfectly good, rarely used Pack and Play taking up real estate in our trunk. It's soft everywhere - no amount of violent thrashing can result in injury!

It was immediately put to use, and CIO has not failed. She cries for less than 15 minutes, just long enough for her to force herself into a too-small corner and flop onto her belly.
This has taken her independent sleep time from non-existent to anywhere from 5-7 hours, allowing Tim to move back into the bedroom for the majority of the night.

On to weaning...I thought the fight to feed her through bottles only (with the exception of bed time) would turn around on day three. Don't they say it takes three days to form a habit? Day three was the absolute worst. She only accepted a bottle strapped into the Baby Bjorn facing out, while I pranced around, and even then she would take a half an ounce at a time, the whole process taking over two hours. This pregnant lady does not have the energy to prance around with 15 extra pounds on her chest for two hours. It was exhausting, we both cried, I had to repeatedly hand her off to Tim or to Nana (Tim's mom) and go outside to calm down and work through my frustration by pulling weeds. Thankfully, there are plenty of those, so I never ran out.

Finally, yesterday, day 5, we had a breakthrough. She'd been in bed with me for several hours, and now and then attempted to nurse. She was clearly getting nothing, or next to, because there was much frantic sucking and no swallowing. I got her up, changed her, and we went downstairs for a bottle. I braced myself for battle, defiantly ignored the Bjorn that was lying in wait, and propped her against a pillow on the couch. I handed her the bottle cap to keep her hands occupied and too busy to push/throw the bottle away from her and worked it into her mouth. 15 peaceful minutes later the 4 ounces were drained. I was flabbergasted. She was rewarded with many many kisses and snuggles, and obscene amounts of peach mango puffs (which, by the way, are delicious.) This was followed up with half a jar of apple peach oatmeal yogurt (Earths Best breakfast blends, I love you), and more puffs. The she went for a brief nap-not on the couch!-in the pack and play, and then we had play time and I replicated the pillow propping and offered bottle number two. Badda boom, badda bing, taken with ease. Lather, rinse, repeat, three hours later I attempt bottle 3. No go. Proceed with the Bjorn bottle bounce, and two ounces were taken. I then passed her off to Nana, who somehow coaxed her to take the other two ounces. This was followed by dinner, also fed by Nana, who could see I was stressed out from the bottle situation, and more play.

Up until this time, three bottles has been her limit. I knew that if I introduced one between 6:30 and 7, before she got too sleepy, I might have a tiny chance. She took the whole thing without batting an eye. As I took her upstairs to get her into PJ's she tossed most of it back out onto my shoulder, back and the stairs, but I still call it a win. I changed her, allowed her the one nursing period of the day (despite having just eaten, since I'm really producing almost nothing), and put her to bed. 15 minutes later I was alone with my thoughts.

Today has been a repeat of yesterday, she's been napping in her room for over an hour, giving me the rare opportunity to shower and type this up. We'll attempt a second bottle when she wakes, and I anticipate little resistance.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting me through this time of struggle, doubt and frustration. I am so grateful for the wisdom and encouragement you've given.

How to wean a resistant child...

2011-06-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

This is less a how-to, and more a here's what I've attempted and how Charlie has foiled it all.

We gave Charlie her first bottle of expressed milk on Halloween, when she was just over a month old. Tim fed it to her, she happily accepted, and promptly threw it up. So much for that pumpkin costume...I only had a manual pump, so she took about one bottle a week, and once we switched to Dr. Brown's we didn't have any more spit up issues.

Then, around 4 months (the same time she gave up sleeping through the night) she rejected the bottle. Violently. She would rather throw herself to the floor than let that thing near her mouth. I tried...Nana tried...Tim tried...fits abounded. Bottles were left untouched, hours of pumping waisted as the milk was tossed down the drain. Thankfully we were in a position that didn't require she drink from a bottle. It was a convenience for the occasion I wanted wine, or to see a movie, but it wasn't really a necessity. So, we adapted, happily living a bottle free life.

Well. When we started going to a small group I started giving Charlie milk in sippy cups. (I'm not, in general, an in-public nurser type.) She handled this better, and would drink an ounce or two. Eventually I bought faster flow nipples, holding my breath that it wouldn't be wasted money, and tried the bottle again. Success! She would usually drink two ounces or so over the period of an hour (yes, we call that success around here.) But, this was only needed once every other week, so not a habitual thing.

Then I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea how much milk I was producing, I just knew Charlie was no longer willing to wait three hours between feedings. So, Tim and I decided to buy an electric pump so we could determine approximately how much milk I was making. It was not encouraging. I was able to pump about two ounces at a time...then a few weeks later, one ounce...then this week, half an ounce. Add to that me coming down with a UTI yesterday. My doctor said I could breast feed with the prescription, but the medication itself says not to...so I'm compromising. We are doing formula for all but the first and last feedings (and the middle of the night, I can't imagine that battle.) I've read those are the hardest for the baby to drop, so we're going with that.

Getting her to take the formula...that's a trick. So far the most successful thing I've found is to strap her facing me into the Baby Bjorn, and offer the bottle from various angles (right, left, center, repeat) while 1) pacing the entire house in silence, 2) Dancing in front of the mirror. It's a good work out, because it takes about an hour for her to finally drain a 4 ounce bottle. This is usually met with initial acceptance, but an ounce into it she starts rubbing her face against my chest and gently crying until she reaches tantrum levels. Then the cycle repeats. The only thing stopping me from caving (besides being stubborn) is seeing the difference in both the length of her naps, and in the roundness of her belly. Sometimes her belly looked like someone who had recently lost a lot of weight, just wrinkly skin on top of a flat belly. Other times it was round like a baby belly should be. It worried me, but I read on mom forums about other babies that were her age and weight, so I tried not to read into it...but now I am concerned that her stomach shrunk to match my supply instead of my milk matching her need. But, she never ate much solids either (still doesn't)...about 2 ounces of fruit and cereal for breakfast and three ounces of veggies or fruit for dinner. So, honestly I'm not sure if she was getting enough milk from me or not, I just know that seeing how much she's now getting is making me feel better (even though she's still only taking about 8 ounces of formula, plus what she gets from me at the beginning and end of the day and through the night.) We're going to work that up as much as possible once she stops fighting so hard.

So, Mom's who've weaned...any tips on making this process easier on both of us?

Made By Me Monday (or Tuesday)

2011-05-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

It seems the local stork is super efficient, cause he's bringing us a second baby a mere 14 months and two days after the first.

Despite having known for about two months now, we're still relatively shocked, but a baby is always a wonderful thing, and we are happily (if a bit nervously) anticipating welcoming this one into our little family.

So far this pregnancy has been identical to my first, except for fewer taco cravings - probably because I'm already on an iron supplement. I've been very blessed to never experience morning sickness, and sleepiness is my most consistent symptom.

Although I'm only 14 weeks along, it is pretty obvious that I'm expecting by the end of the day. I look about how I looked at 20 weeks last time.

We're brainstorming how to make Charlie's little nursery big enough for two cribs, tossing around ideas of how we'll "boy it up" if this one is of the masculine variety, and are figuring out what we'll do differently knowing what we know now that we have 8 months of parenting under our belts.

Any mom's of two under two happen to read this? I'd love to hear more about what I should be expecting, the good, the bad and the funny.

I'd also love boy names...we got nothin'.

Eight Months Old!

2011-05-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe my sweet thing is eight months old. And giant. She's still a meager 15 pounds, give or take two ounces, but she's a mighty 29+ inches long.

She is currently:

Giving hugs and sloppy kisses

Eating solids for breakfast and dinner, as well as her weight in Puffs

Preferring rolling and "walking" (with someone supporting her) to the trouble of learning to crawl

Very interested in textures, from suede to embroidery to bald heads

Wearing clothes ranging from 3-6 months up to 12 months

In love with Tim's socks

Despising bath time, unless Daddy is there to play Peek a Boo

Preferring girls to boys, and preferring long haired girls to short haired

Thrilled that her favorite toys (her feet) are different every day...sometimes bare, sometimes sock covered, sometimes shoe covered, sometimes knit slipper covered, and her favorite, sometimes sandal covered

Slowly being introduced to formula. This is not being well received

Saying "Dada", "Nana", "Hi" and "Blah" indiscriminately

Working her one tooth...it's almost halfway in now, and she knows how to use it (ouch)

(PS - her adorable rainbow chevron dress is from GAP outlet, and Papa got it at a steal for $4 - only to discover that the romper that came with it is size 18-24 months, so I had to sub a Carter's one in so as not to expose her Blues Clues diaper)

Birthday Brain "Storming"

2011-05-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in love with the idea of a "Rainy Day" party for Charlie. Since her birthday is in late September, its likely that the weather will cooperate, so what's more fun than dressing in your best poncho and galloshes and heading to a rainy 1st birthday party?

Bonus that I'm pretty sure I could make most of this myself.

Vintage Rain Barrel (for punch of course)

I love the photo booth trend that's started. Pose under a vintage umbrella (ella, ella, ella) and a raincloud!

The favor bags would be filled with things to do on a rainy day.
Origami trench coat dolls
Coloring page
Tags

What do you think?

So, who wants an iPad?

2011-05-18T11:57:00.001-07:00

Yes please. Enter to win one from Design for Mankind! But don't be too disappointed when I win, not you ;)

Ten on 10

2011-05-11T09:58:00.000-07:00

My day with Charlie - 10 pictures in 10 hours.
See more here

Made By Me Monday

2011-05-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

I made a crayon carrier a few years ago for my nephew's birthday. I used Pirate-y fabrics, since it was, and still is, his favorite, sewed together the squares and folded up about a third of it to make a pocket on the inside. I sewed the pocket into crayon sized sections and added crayons.

I added a ribbon to the outside to hold it shut.

Roll it up, tie it off, and you have a portable crayon holder. Voila.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T12:28:00.001-07:00

Grateful for the blessing of a wonderful mother, and a wonderful daughter to share her legacy with.

Sunshine

2011-05-05T14:56:00.001-07:00

"Enjoying" one of the first warm sunny days in Charlie's little life. As you can see by her expression, it wasn't her favorite experience.

7 Months

2011-05-05T14:40:00.000-07:00

My tiny is 7 months old! Madness.

She's become a busy little thing, but she still loves to snuggle and now happily gives hugs and kisses (to me, to daddy, to her stuffed animals, and even books if they have faces to kiss in them).

She rolls everywhere, loves to be upside down, and has actually flipped and landed flat on her feet from an upside down position more than once (don't let your guard down with this one).

She'd rather stand than anything, will jump as much as possible, and is constantly talking.

She's eating two pureed meals a day, favoring squash and blueberry pear. She says "Mmmm" while eating. Peas and Squash mixed with apple both make her gag, so those have been retired for now.

She's in the throws of teething, and doesn't especially like being held by anyone but me, though she'll smile and talk with others as long as she's safely in my lap.

She's sooo close to sitting on her own, (she can do it on chairs and couches and laps, but doesn't trust the floor.)

She's grabbing any and everything, as you can see in the second picture she's lunging for the camera.

She's too long for 6 month clothes, but too skinny for 9 month...it looks like she may just sport dresses this summer.

She's started to dance to music, and stays pretty close to the rhythm. She sings along with whatever she hears.

She blows bubbles often, especially while eating.

She spent her first Sunday in the nursery, and didn't cry at all. In fact, she didn't make any noise the whole time, just sat and watched everyone.

She has no interest in crawling, but seems to like the idea of wheelbarrowing, as evidenced by her attempt to get from my lap to her dad's last night.

She's awesome.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday Catch up

2011-05-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

I started weekly blog features to make sure I continued to blog...but sometimes life gets in the way, and things like "Made By Me Monday" fall by the wayside.

Our lives have been busy with things like sickness, sleep issues, milk supply issues, changes, prioritizing, teething, drooling, broken washers, etc. It hasn't all been bad, but it has all been intense, and taken my focus away from a lot of day to day things...like cleaning, cooking, laundry and blogging.

I have, however, been taking pictures. So, without further adieu:

What's Charlie Wearing last Wednesday (actually Thursday - our new washer didn't get here until Wednesday, so Charlie was wearing a hodgepodge assortment from her few clean clothes that day.)
Here she's wearing:
Carters sweatshirt
Carters cow onesie (part of a four piece set found at Costco for under $10)
Old Navy roll up jeans on clearance for about $4
Carters socks

And, this Wednesday:
It was lovely out, so while she also sported a sweater and socks most of the day, we pretended it was summer.

Old Navy Tank bought on clearance before she was born - probably about $2
Cherokee shorts, also bought on clearance before she was born - I have no idea what they cost.

Our First Easter as Three

2011-04-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

Easter morning came early around our house...we had to be fed, dressed and out the door by 8:20, which meant a 7 am wake up call for mommy...earlier than usual. I actually didn't drag myself from the warm comfort of flannel sheets until 7:25, so I rocked wet hair in a ponytail, and had no time to make my legs presentable enough for a skirt, so wound up wearing the only clean jeans I had handy (grey flares) with a blousy blue and white silk button down tank and an extra long black cardigan with silver ballet flats. Not exactly up to Easter par, but what can you do? It was only a little embarrassing to stand next to Tim in his khaki's, button down green gingham shirt and navy tie, holding Charlie in her plaid pink/orange/red Old Navy dress (new from the consignment store, $4) with her big flower headband in lieu of a bonnet (impossible to find!) Only Charlie got fed, and we didn't make it out the door until 8:35 (for the 8:30 service), but thankfully it's right down the street.

Once to church, Charlie started off standing on my lap, treating me as a jumperoo. Bounce, bounce bounce. To put a stop to this, I sat her on my lap, when Charlie decided it would be a good time to growl. A lot. After several attempts to quiet her with various pacifiers, all of which she plucked out a threw on the ground, Tim ended up in the foyer with her for the majority of the service, keeping her growling to himself.

After the service we came home for a few hours, and Charlie received her first Easter basket. If you know me, you know I LOVE holidays, and holiday traditions. Normally I make Easter baskets for at least Tim, my nephew Mitsuki, and myself (cause I say it's from the Easter Bunny, so it's not really like I'm giving myself presents, right?) Last year, Tim's brother and his family were here from Ohio, so I made 9 baskets. But, this year I'm not working, so I had to tame my Easter basket frenzy. Charlie was the only recipient of a basket, Tim got white chocolate Lindor eggs, and I got mini Cadbury's.

Here's Charlie, ready to rip into her basket:

Her basket consisted of: felt chick basket, two Sesame Street bath books (all from the Target dollar bin), a touch and feel baby animal book (Costco, $5.99) and a little lamb (Fred Meyer, $3.99)

She checked periodically to make sure Daddy's attention was where it should be...on her.

Eating her basket. This continued throughout the day.

Overall, her first Easter basket seemed to be a success.
We spent the rest of the day at Papa's, where she enjoyed playing in her jumperoo, and eating her Auntie Chie's face. It was delightful.

He Arose!

2011-04-24T10:36:00.001-07:00

He arose, hallelujah, Christ arose!

Happy Easter, friends. Today we rejoice in our Resurrected Lord, without whom, eternal life would not be possible.

Praise the Lord that Jesus conquered death, living and reigning eternally, making it possible for us to have salvation.

"Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?" I Corinthians 15:55

Thankful for Good Friday

2011-04-22T13:57:00.001-07:00

without which, we could not receive the gift of salvation.

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross

The emblem of suff'ring and shame

And I love that old cross,

Where the dearest and best

For a world of lost sinners was slain

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross

Till my trophies at last I'll lay down

I will cling to the old rugged cross

And exchange it some day for a crown

source

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Why we're on hold

2011-04-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

It seemed to be going so well. There was less crying, more sleeping. But there we other changes too...ones I really wanted to ignore, or at least pretend they were caused by teething or something. Then it all came to a head.

Let's backtrack a bit. Charlie started rolling months ago, but only recently has she been consistently rolling as a means to get from here to there. But, she only rolls one direction at a time. She'll roll, for example, from her tummy to her back, going right. Then, still going right, to her tummy again. Then (right) to her back. Until she encounters an obstacle. If she's on her back when she gets stuck, she deals, wiggles and finds her way out. But if she's on her tummy, she just keeps trying to roll to the right, desperate to get onto her back, resulting in her hitting her head on said obstacle over and over again as she tries to get to her back.

It's not a huge deal if she's in the living room with me, I can roll her to the left and get her started on the rolling path to safety. But, when I've put her in her crib (drowsy but awake) the last seven or eight times, it's been a different story. I didn't know why she was suddenly crying for an hour again, until I came in the first time and found her on her belly, terrified. She didn't have room to roll back over, and seemed to think she was stuck forever. It took some time to calm her down, and then she fell asleep in my arms. The next day, her screaming got more intense after 10 minutes, and I heard banging against the wall. She was, again, stuck on her stomach, and attempting to roll despite continually hitting her head against the crib slats (we don't use bumpers, per the SIDS recommendation.) The next day, determined to keep closer watch, I found her almost immediately on her tummy, backed into the bottom corner with her foot stuck through the slats.

Tim and I talked about it, and decided that until she had figured out rolling either direction, we'd back off on the CIO business. The risk of her hurting herself seems to outweigh any benefit offered.

There have been other issues too. I don't know if baby's can be paranoid, but it seems like Charlie is. She started crying and twisting any time we go into her room now. If I lay her down on the changing table (previously one of her favorite places) she starts screaming immediately. I've heard of CIO babies loving their cribs, but Charlie has learned to fear hers. I'm at a loss. The last few days of letting her fall asleep next to me on the couch, but not touching me, seems to have gone well. I am (usually) able to transfer her to her crib without commotion. She's been happier during the day, and more inclined to play by herself, or with her dad or grandparents then she was the last week or so. She still cries when I put her on the changing table, but only until she figures out she's getting changed, then she calms down and starts smiling.

In some ways I feel like a failure, because CIO is so successful for so many, but on the other hand, I know my stubborn little girl, and it's clear that this isn't the right path for her. At least for now.

So, I'm a bit discouraged, but glad to have my happy girl back. Even if bedtime still doesn't come easy.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-04-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

This girl is getting trickier to photograph. She is ever more distracted by the world around her, so keeping her attention for the three seconds my camera takes to capture a shot is no laughing matter.
In the first picture, she's attempting to lick her hood.
In the second picture, she's letting me know it's too close to nap time for this business.
And in the third picture, she's had a nap, and a meal, and is more than happy to smile for me, so long as she can still play with her feet.

Anyway, today she's wearing another Carters outfit, which makes it simple for a sleepy mama. I really love how everything Carters matches. For example, the blue of the socks, which were not part of the outfit, is exactly the same as the blue of the vest. Takes a lot of the thinking out of the picture, which I am increasingly appreciating. The headband was made by me.

Here she is giving up on sitting pretty and sprawling along the full width of the rocking chair seat.
Time to play!

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Seven

2011-04-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

Charlie was bright and cheery most of the day yesterday, even "napping" in her crib without protest a few times. I say "napping" because most of the time was spent staring at the wall or playing with her feet, not actually sleeping. But, baby steps, right? She seems to have figured out that screaming isn't getting her what she wants. When I laid her down last night at 7:30, she cried until I left the room, then only fussed for about a minute every 5 minutes or so. At one point she'd been so quiet I was sure she was asleep, so I tip toed in to peek and found her staring at the wall (we're on the other side of it, and she could hear Tim talking with our friend Ryan through it) so intently that she didn't notice I was there. It made me sad to see her staring to where she knows we are. I feel like she thinks she's being punished. But, I know these are just reflections of how I would feel in her situation, because she doesn't even know the concept of punishment yet. The only time she hears the word "no" is when she's ripping hair from my scalp (granted, that is about 20 times a day). Anyway, minutes after that, I checked on her again, driven by my guilt, and found her asleep. All in all, it took less than a half hour with virtually no crying - a huge change from a week ago, when she would fall asleep on a sheet soaked with tears. She woke up around 11, and when I went in to get her she was pressed up against the crib slats. I untangled her from them and fed her while I read and laid her back down. She was asleep again quickly without protest. We didn't repeat our sleeping through the night bliss, she woke up at three to eat, but went back down in her crib with barely a peep. It took her awhile to fall back asleep though, I could hear her tiny dagger sharp nails scratching the sheet for about a half hour. I half expected her to have dug through the mattress by morning. She woke up again at 6:15 and ate again, then we snoozed together for a few more hours. Today has been touch and go, she was happy while I changed her until she scratched her face with her toenail (seriously, how often does that happen?), then she was happy again while we watched American Idol until she couldn't share my coffee. Fixed with her own sippy cup of juice/water. Then she started getting sleep and fussy, and no amount of snuggling her was fixing the fuss, so I decided if she's crying anyway, to her crib! And that's where she's been the whole time I've been writing this. Fussing on an off, (fussing right now actually), but I'm hoping it's short lived. So, since the cry it out part is pretty much over, and I can't imagine you all just want to hear how often she eats in the night, barring some sort of extreme regression, I think this will be my last post on the subject. Thanks for going through this journey with me, and I really appreciate all the encouragement. I couldn't have done it without you!

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Six

2011-04-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

Finally. Finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. For bedtime at least. Naps are a different story. Last night my dad came over to watch Survivor - a long standing tradition, and Charlie went down at 8:15. I kissed her, prayed over her and told her "Night night" and walked out. She screamed for the entire duration of 25 minutes, which my dad didn't like at all. But then, she was out. That's a little more than half the time it's been taking! I couldn't believe it. Just under an hour later, however, she was fussing again. But just fussing, on and off, for about 15 minutes, then asleep. By the time Tim got home (around 10ish), he went to kiss her goodnight and found her staring at him with wide open, very awake eyes. He kissed her on the forehead and walked out, afraid he'd ruined everything. Again, she fussed for about 10 minutes and then was out. Weird. At 11:30, I was getting ready for bed, and heard her fussing. I decided to feed her, assuming hunger was the reason for all these wakings, so I fed her while I read a bit, then put her back in her crib. She fussed for about 5 minutes, then I didn't hear a peep from her until 6:30am! Is it possible that this horrible cycle we've been in for two months now is finally coming to an end? Hoping and praying that it is, and normal sleep will return to all. So far today, Charlie has been cheery and energetic, and desperately wanting to type, so here is a message to you with love from Charlie: ccccccccccccccccccccccccccc nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn c jrx zzzzzzzzzzzz

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday/Made By Me Monday Combo

2011-04-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

And sillier every day. So, I skipped Made By Me Monday this week, so to make up for it, here's a Made By Me What's Charlie Wearing. This dress was the first project I tackled after hats:

It's supposed to it an 18 month old, and it's got glaring mistakes, but it's so so soft, and considering my rookie status...pretty cute.

The onesie is, as usual, Carters from a vest/pants set.

The tights came from a consignment shop.

So, she's sweet and snugly and cute as a button.

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Five

2011-04-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

My chipper little baby is happily playing on the floor as I write this, grinning at me between grabbing at toys or chewing on feet. She's been happy all day (or what she's been awake for) so far. Yesterday she was pretty happy too, playing and rolling over on the floor, bouncing with gusto in her jumperoo, and snuggling the daylights out of me. She napped briefly in the morning, then as we cruised through Costco in the afternoon, and then she took a late nap again (6-7ish), so she didn't start getting visibly sleepy until about 8:00. I put her down at 8:07, and the monitor and I went to do some dishes. She cried for about 15 minutes before it turned to muttering, then back to crying, lather rinse repeat. She fell silent after about 35 minutes, so I peeked in the door and found her focused on flipping onto her belly. She gave up on that soon after, flopped onto her back and started snoring softly. All told - 40 minutes. She woke again about 1 am, not fully crying, but fussing a little every few minutes, and definitely keeping me awake. I figured I could feed her and get it over with, so I hauled myself out of bed. Boy did I underestimate how exhausted I was. I had been planning to feed her in her rocker, but as soon as I started walking toward her room I knew I didn't have the energy to sit up with her (I've been fighting a cold all week). So, for my own well being I took her to bed and fed her there. We both fell asleep in the process, and when I woke it was 2. I carried her back to her crib and laid her down, her eyes flying open the second she touched the mattress. I put my hand on her belly and "shhh"ed until she started rubbing her eyes, and I made for the door. Between two and four, Charlie stayed quietly in her crib, playing with her toes. Since I knew she was awake, I woke up every 15 or 20 minutes to check on her, and every time she was happily and silently playing. Finally an hour or so into this game her eyelids were starting to droop, and I readied myself to really sleep. Well, then she lost her binky. She fussed a little, and I tried to ignore it, hoping she'd get her ever-more-coordinated fingers around the thing and back in her mouth. Eventually, around 4, I heard the soft thud of the binky being kicked out of the crib and onto the floor, followed by a more consistent sad sob. Well, at this point I was so tired that I acted in the only way that my sleep deprived mind could, and went and got her. I considered "plugging" her with the binky and leaving, but when she saw me, my oh-so-awake child actually squealed in delight. Well, melt my heart, how is one supposed to resist that? So, to bed with me she came. Once there she gazed at me grinning for about 10 minutes, rolled over to be closer to me (I always try to keep her at least a foot away) and just seemed to bask in the togetherness of it all. Soon enough she fell asleep, and I fell asleep, and we both slept until Tim woke us before he left for work. Charlie was still in a very good mood, grinning at him and snuggling with him until he had to go. I fed her again, and we talked back and forth for awhile, then we took a "nap" until 9:30, when she woke up cooing and grinning. So, while we're still not totally making it through the night, Charlie has been so happy and interactive today (albeit sleepy...she did have quite the play time when she should have been sleeping.) Maybe the benefits of this process are starting to show...

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Four

2011-04-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Sigh. This girl. For all her sweetness and adorable-ness, she is giving me a run for my money. Yesterday, she was cheery and sweet, and would have nothing to do with her crib. And, as a result, nothing to do with naps. She would drift off while eating, but otherwise she was nap free until about 5:00 when I gave up and let her sleep next to me on the couch while I watched TV. She slept till 6:30, and then ate dinner (milk and prunes), and played until she started getting sleepy, about 8:15. I fed her one more time for good measure, and she drifted off while eating. I was worried that would give her extra energy to fight at bedtime, and in a way I think it did. But, nonetheless, I gave her some gas drops, kissed and snuggled her and left her in her crib. The crying started before I got to the door. This was harder than normal. In an attempt (I assume) to soothe herself, once she lost her binky, she crammed her hand in her mouth. Her whole hand (I was peeking periodically). When she's not crying she gags herself when she does this, so it was intensified by hysterical sobs+hand. Lots of gagging. Hence, my frequent army crawl through the doorway to check on her. But, the pattern was more consistent. Cry for a minute, quiet/catch breath for a minute. After about 20 minutes she moved on to angry talking. She was more physically active though. At one point I heard a bang on the wall that her room shares with our living room, where I was folding laundry and watching House. I went to investigate, and found her turned 45 degrees from her starting point, kicking the wall. By the time she actually fell asleep, 40 minutes after I put her down, she was upside down, if you will, feet where her head normally is, head where her feet normally are. And snoring her tiny little head off. She also had a finger stuck in her mouth, again, I assume, to self-soothe. Success! Self soothed, asleep in under an hour...great! Until one am arrived. Woke up fussing, and I resisted responding until the fuss became a scream. I fed her in her rocking chair, and laid her down, but she woke immediately and started flailing her arms and legs. I scooped her back up (probably a mistake, but it was the middle of the night), got her back to sleep, laid her back down and ran for the door. There was no noise from the crib. Holding my breath, I visited the restroom, then peeked back in. Oops. I had been spotted by bright eyes staring at the door. Enter wails. I waited for them to get softer, but to no avail. She was so worked up, so I walked over and stroked her cheek. Well, apparently she didn't notice me coming, because I was the cause of my baby's first scream of terror. She went from a low pitched cry to a high pitched peal of horror in a heartbeat, her face changing from frustration to fear. It was awful. I felt so badly, I scooped her up right there and took her to my room to comfort her, which took some doing. Probably ten minutes later she was calm again. She slept by my side until quarter to seven when she woke up screaming in a way I interpreted to be pain. I jumped up and took her to change her diaper, thinking she was experiencing the same problem she'd experienced on Sunday, but that wasn't it. She screamed until I fed her, and then she calmed and slept more. All in all, it was a rough night, and I felt like we took several steps backward. This is rough, people. I just tried to put her down in her crib after she'd fallen asleep in my arms, and that backfired. Moms who've done this, did you wait till night time was established to put them down awake for naps, or did you do CIO for naps too?

Six Month Photo Shoot

2011-04-11T15:55:00.001-07:00

Buckle up - there are a lot of pictures below :) My sweet friend Laura of E&O Supplies has a vast amount of talents, not the least of which is photography. I asked if she would be willing to take pictures of Charlie and she really delivered. We had brunch with Meghan of Zimbags, and used her beautiful neutral home as a backdrop. The pictures turned out amazing, and here are some of my favorites (it was really hard to narrow down, be glad I didn't upload all 56)

Seriously great pictures, right? Big thanks to Auntie Laura for making this possible!

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Three

2011-04-11T12:20:00.001-07:00

This brings us to last night. Charlie had been in so much pain during the day that we were worried about putting her down, but we knew that if we weren't consistant, the last two nights would be for naught. So, we put her down when her eyes started getting droopy, and the crying started immediately. We hunkered down on the couch and listened carefully to her cries, worried that she was in pain. There were a lot of breaks in her cries, and we didn't know if that was because she was so sleepy, or if she was just catching her breath, but it worried us. So, 20 minutes into it, Tim went in to give her more gas drops. We knew this would work her up, but we were so concerned that she was in pain. Sure enough, this made her furious, that he would have the audacity to come in and leave again without her. So, her cries amped up for a few minutes, but subsided again pretty quickly. Even with the interruption, she cried less than 45 minutes before falling asleep. Progress! She woke at midnight, and I fed her and put her back down. She fussed a little, so I gave her her pacifier and she calmed down. At two she was up again. I fed her, rocked her and put her back down (asleep), but she woke up screaming a few minutes later. I didn't know what to do, if I should let her cry herself to sleep, or just go get her. It didn't seem fair for Tim to be woken up by crying in the middle of the night, since he's working a 12 hour day today, so I went and got her, and she spent the rest of the night next to me. Her pain seems to have subsided, and she was pretty chipper this morning. She's now napping in her crib. We'll see what happens tonight. I'm hoping for twenty minutes of fussing...I'll let you know.

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day Two

2011-04-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

I'd read that the first night, on average, takes an hour. The second night, 45 minutes. The third night, 30 minutes, etc. Lies. Cry it out is very stressful for all involved, and on this night I had to handle it on my own. So, I put me sleepy but awake baby in her crib. kissed her and said all the mushy mom things, and resolutely walked out of the room. To silence. The silence lasted about two minutes, and as I curled up on the couch hugging the monitor as a surrogate Charlie, I listened to the angry, angry screams coming from my tiny girl. After a few minutes, these gave way to furious mumblings. She was grumbling all her emotions out in baby talk, which was actually pretty hilarious to listen too. This continued for several minutes, then turned back into angry screaming. Then to sobbing. Then to screaming, then to grumbling, and one last burst of screaming. The peaceful, blissful slumber. The whole process took an hour and ten minutes, and again, it sucked. Tim came home at the tail end of it, and feeling sympathetic, he treated me to two cheeseburgers and french fries from McDonalds, which helped melt the tension a bit. She slept until 4 am, when I fed her and put her back down. Then she woke up at 5 am, ready to start the day. I couldn't convince her to go back to sleep with any amount of feeding or rocking, so eventually she and I laid down on the couch and napped together until 9:30 when I woke up. Not ideal, but I couldn't handle a five'o'clock wake up time. The rest of the day was rough. She was a gem at church, letting Daddy hold her the whole time, napping on his shoulder (she's been pretty mean to Tim lately, making it clear that she'd prefer I hold her, breaking both of our hearts.) When we got home, I fed her and we played for a bit before we all took super long naps. (Hers in her crib, lasting almost two hours - she averages 15-45 minutes usually.) Then the pain came in to play. We've started Charlie on solids, and they've been unkind to her little digestive tract. It all came to a head after her nap, and she was experiencing a LOT of pain as she tried to get things moving. Eventually I called a nurses consulting line and was told to give her baby pear juice and prunes. She liked the juice a lot, but hardly touched the pureed prunes, I think more so because she didn't want to eat when she was in pain, less because...well, they're prunes. We also gave her liberal amounts of gas drops, which she loves. She sucks on that little dropper as long as we'll let her, getting every little drop of strawberry flavored goodness. But still, the rest of the day was punctuated with her tiny scrunched up face and pathetic cries, and lots of belly rubs, a warm bath, and diaper changes...anything we could think of to help her discomfort. So with this rough day, we were geared up for a rough night.

Chronicles of Cry It Out - Day 1

2011-04-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it. We bit the bullet. We had attempted CIO in the past, but it seemed like pointless torture for all three of us, because, really, we had quite a good little sleeper on our hands. She'd drift off to sleep while we snuggled her, transition smoothly into her crib, and sleep the night away. It was wonderful, it was easy, and who cares if she can't soothe herself? Then everything changed. She started waking up anywhere from one to FIVE times a night. As this progressed and my exhaustion worsened, I'd give up and bring her into bed with me. At least this way I could feed her without having to totally wake up. Well...she got pretty used to the comfort of having me so close. She stopped napping in her crib, demanding to be snuggled, or at least laying next to me for the duration of the nap. If I had to use the restroom, do laundry or get some food, the nap was over. When we put her down at night (asleep), she would wake up within the hour, refusing to go down again in her crib. But, if I just set her next to me, she'd fall asleep in minutes, without a fuss or whine. Slippery slope. Two weeks went by with baby in our bed. Tim was kicked out, cause there's just not room for all three of us. I would wake up, paranoid that she'd accidentally been covered by loose bedding and was in danger (never happened, but paranoia runs deep for new moms). This had to stop. So, Friday night, Tim and I had a plan. Charlie would be put in her crib and the first sign of drowsiness, and we'd listen over the monitor, set as low as possible, while playing Monopoly with a friend. It took an hour and ten minutes for our girl to stop screaming, and if it hadn't been for that game, I wouldn't have made it. Distractions help oh-so-much. When she finally stopped crying, I immediately went in to check on her (I had been peeking periodically from the door, but standing over her provides much more reassurance.) She was sleeping so peacefully, breathing slowly and deeply. She woke up two hours later, and I fed her and put her back down. She cried for fifteen minutes and was out until morning. The next day, she greeted me with a grin, didn't panic if I left the room, played on her own more than usual, and took longer naps in her crib. The process sucked, but it looked to be promising.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-04-06T13:09:00.001-07:00

Before Charlie was born, her Papa went to Vegas. There he was able to enjoy In'N'Out, making me insanely jealous, but he did bring us back a onesie. here she is, sporting a delicious #1. But, since it's still acting like winter round these parts, this was not sufficient for her to wear alone, so I put this sweater over it:

This was found on the Old Navy clearance rack for 1/2 off of it's clearance price of $5.00 - yeah, $2.50 for a knit cowl neck sweater...awesome. She's wearing it with her H&M jeans from Alison and Jason, and some Carters socks.

We have not had the smiley-est morning around here (someone has been opting to go to bed between 11:30 and 1:00 the last several nights, and is all the grumpier for it-we're working on it.) so, the pictures are not quite as cheery as usual, but cute none the less.

Made By Me Monday

2011-04-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Tim and I have these amazing knit stockings we got at Cost Plus the first year we were married. I really wanted to find a similar one for Charlie, but the only one they had with the same color scheme was about a foot longer than ours. So, rather than buy one we didn't completely love, I made a temporary stocking to give us some time to find a great one. At three months old she didn't really care anyway :) I had bought Christmas fabric the year before to make pillow covers, so I pulled out the remnants from one of them as well as remnants of a pink minky fabric from a baby blanket I made and used our existing stockings to make a template. Foolishly, I cut the stocking shapes incorrectly, so the better image is on the back side of it...oops. Oh well. I really doubt this could hold much, since I hand stitched the whole thing, and the minky stuff is almost like batting. I think a lot of weight might rip the whole thing apart, so it's purely decorative. But, for Charlie's first Christmas, I think it worked. Plus, it was free!

I Heart Faces: Best Face - March

2011-04-03T13:27:00.001-07:00

This weeks challenge is a people's choice. Submit your favorite picture from March and then vote for your favorites. I picked Charlotte's St. Patty's picture, because it's very March-y, and I spent far too long making that mask to only post it once :)

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-03-30T10:40:00.001-07:00

Today is a jammie day in our house. This week has been so busy, and it's starting to show in Charlie's fragile temperament, so we're staying in today and focusing on napping. You may have noticed a lack of Made By Me Monday...well, I had a good reason. Tim, who is now working 65+ hour weeks, took Monday off to spend with his girls. We window shopped, we took Charlie to her 6 month well check (he did the comforting after the shots, which was sweet.) We even super splurged and ate out for lunch. Then the three of us snuggled on the couch and watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It was so wonderful. Anyway, back to business. Charlie is wearing a snug sleeper from Gymboree with Parisian elephants on it, (what else would it be?). Elephants riding bikes past delicatessens, elephants in hot air balloons, elephants admiring the Eiffel Tower...it's so cute. And it was about five bucks.

so we're off to rest and play a bit, have a great day!

Six months

2011-03-29T15:42:00.000-07:00

From this tiny thing...

to this larger tiny thing.

Love, love, love.

I Heart Faces Challenge...Slice of Life

2011-03-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

This weeks photo challenge is a slice of life. Basically any photo (with a human face in it) that represents you life. Since the majority of my time is spent trying to capture every funny little thing Charlotte does, I thought this shot was perfect. I went to check on her while napping one day, only to find her pacifier precariously perched on top of her head. It's never happened again, and I still don't know how it got there, but this has become one of my favorite pictures of my quirky little girl.

Join in the fun by clicking here!

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-03-23T14:48:00.001-07:00

Today Charlie is wearing :
A floral peasant top her Auntie Laura brought over (among many other things) the day we found out we were having a girl. It's from Old Navy.

Hot pink skinny pants from Carters, part of a tunic set she got for Christmas from Nana and Grandpa.

And Carter's socks, also a gift.

She is exactly a week away from being six months old! I find this completely unbelievable, but considering the leaps and bounds she's making developmentally I probably shouldn't.

She is currently

rolling everywhere, this is no longer just between me and her, she'll now roll for anyone
very interested in and very jealous of my food. the other day she rolled over four times to get as close as possible to my plate (I was eating on the floor to keep her company)
grabbing things out of my hands, and holding things that are heavier than she's used to with ease
eating oatmeal
in the throws of teething...I expect a tooth any time now
preferring standing to pretty much anything else
when laying on her belly she sticks her bum in the air, plants her face on the floor and shoves herself forward
sucking her thumb rather than her whole hand

Made By Me Monday

2011-03-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

Easter was a huge deal in my house when I was growing up. A lot of planning went into the outfits, particularly my mom's and mine. Every year we would go to the craft store together and pick out two dress patterns and one fabric, and my mom would proceed to make us coordinating dresses. And, of course, I would get an Easter bonnet.

So, this year as I wander through stores and see all the Easter items, I'm tempted by every tiny hat and frilly dress. To put an end to the temptation, I decided to make a bunny hat for Charlie.

Then Tim called and told me one of his co-workers was having a baby shower, so I tried out a bear hat.

I had to adapt the ear patterns a little to meet my level of know how, so they're not as polished as you might find at Baby Gap, but I think they're cute just the same.

Here's Charlie modeling the bunny hat (which barely fits her. I need to switch to larger needles.) The bear hat is too tiny for her big head, so no modelling was done for that one.

All she's missing is a pot of gold and mug of guiness

2011-03-17T14:03:00.001-07:00

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-03-16T12:04:00.001-07:00

Today Charlie is wearing one of my favorites.

Her onesie:

was a gift from our friends Amy and Frank. It's Baby Gap, and I love that it's three quarter sleeve - rare in a baby outfit. The little strawberries are so fun in hot pink and navy blue, and it's so soft and snuggly.

The skirt is Osh Kosh, (also a gift) part of a three piece set (knit sweater, skirt and striped leggings.) It's so sweet with it's fuchsia belt and knit flowers.

The leg warmers are Circo, and are so ridiculously soft. They were $3.99.

Lately Charlie is:

So happy. She grins and smiles at everything and nothing. Except strangers. Those she's grown a bit wary of.
Obsessed with her feet. She is most often seen trying to eat them while kicking, resulting in a battle of the wills between foot and mouth.
Playing her own version of peek-a-boo, where she buries her head in whatever is near (generally my shoulder), then looks up with a shy grin and waits for a reaction.
Startling herself with the loudness of her squeals.
Very interested in whatever I'm eating or drinking, attempting to grab whatever cup I'm holding (making coffee drinking much more interesting and dangerous) and fussing when I eat.
Eating rice cereal. This has been fairly successful, but she eats the most when it comes from this spoon.
Learning to put her pacifier in her mouth by herself...usually upside down.
Sitting unsupported for about a minute.
Headbutting everyone she comes in contact with.
Rounding a corner in sleep regression...from being up five times a night to once or twice.
The cutest snuggle bug ever.

Remember these?

2011-03-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

This is what Charlie is reminding me of today. Everytime I hold her in my lap, she wraps her arms and legs around my arm. Only, she doesn't face out like these guys, she chews on my "bicep" and pinches my skin to bits between her tiny fingers. What an odd phase :)

Made By Me Monday

2011-03-14T14:05:00.001-07:00

For Christmas, my friend Laura spoiled me with crafty goodness. I found this owl puppet pattern by Sara Lucas in the goodies and thought it would make a good friend for Charlotte.
I chose completely different colors for Charlie's owl because the fall colors seemed a bit dull to me.

Once I saw how dark the body was, I decided to make this the boy owl, and have a girl owl in process, with light grey and white "feathers", and a pink belly.

It turned out pretty cute, considering I had to learn a lot of the techniques as I went. And Charlie seems to like it (most of the time).

Don't Forget...

2011-03-12T14:23:00.001-08:00

...to spring forward tonight! Click on the images to view the source.

Ten on 10...er...11

2011-03-11T15:34:00.001-08:00

Yeah, I haven't been looking at the calendar lately...so here we are a day late.

Ten on 10 Etsy edition
Click each picture to view the shop where the item is from

It's ridiculous, I know...

2011-03-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

...but I'm already brainstorming for Charlie's first birthday party. I have so many ideas floating around my head.

Rainbow Bright

I've liked this idea for awhile. I love "retro" toys that I played with growing up, so the idea of decorating with Rainbow Bright, her Unicorn and Sprites tugs at my heart strings. Add some rainbow streamers, bunting from Tim's birthday and these rainbow cupcakes and, zippety-pow*, you've got yourself a party. And for the favors? A Sprite for everyone (the critter, not the drink)!

Madeline

When we were first married we went through a Paris phase. As our style changed, most of our beautiful Parisian art didn't fit in anymore, so it's been banished to our mostly unused formal living room. But, what better way to put it to use again but to have a Madeline in Paris party? Besides the artwork, we could decorate with the books, croissants and baguettes (what's more French that that? Besides cigarettes.), streamers in Madeline's school uniform colors, and maybe some French street decor like this:

Teach the kids to say "Oui, oui" and you've got yourself a smash! Berets for everyone!

Circus

Just picture it: elephants, lions, tigers, bears, striped tents and mustaches for all! How can you go wrong? Dr. Seuss

Cupcakes topped with green "eggs", big striped felt hats, books everywhere, a game of pin the heart on the Grinch...Dr. Seuss opens itself up to all sorts of fun.

Alice and Wonderland

A mad tea party, eat me and drink me signs everywhere, awesome artwork, and adorable clothes? Yes please. Everyone can go home with a little toadstool, or rabbit, or caterpillar toy.

What do you like best? Other ideas?

*A spattering of zippety-pow - a Gilmore Girls reference, naturally.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-03-09T12:25:00.001-08:00

Today Charlie is supporting the non profit organization, Zimbags. Zimbags is a local organization that is effecting global change, employing Zimbabwean women and paying them fair wages in an effort to extend their shockingly low life expectancy. Read more about their mission for change here.

Charlie is wearing one of her three Zimonsies, a Gerber onesie featuring a design made by a woman in Zimbabwe.

Her skirt and leg warmers (as well as two of the Zimonsies), were a gift from Meghan, one of the happy bag elves behind Zimbags.
The skirt is Circo brand, and the leg warmers are Babylegs...which are awesome.

One last thing, since Charlie has been wearing these every day for the last week:

Since Charlie's feet are her new favorite toy, I can keep her occupied for endless periods of time by using these Lamaze feet rattles that my little brother got her for Christmas. I highly recommend these to and new moms.

Animal Parade

2011-03-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

I just discovered the website I Heart Faces

They do weekly photography challenges, and I thought it would be fun to join in. Here is my submission for this weeks challenge...faces. I love this funny squinty little face. Charlie is working on some teeth, so that tongue is always sticking out lately. Adorable.

Made By Me Monday

2011-03-07T15:52:00.001-08:00

Occasionally the things I make don't turn out quite like I envision...here's an example of a dud.

This "baby hat" was supposed to be a sweet tiny hobo hat to see baby peepers peering out under. I chose red because it really makes Charlie's eyes pop (and because I only had red, pink and black to choose from at the time). But, seeing as how this was my third knitting project and I wasn't fluent in the terminology, it didn't go as planned.

What it was supposed to look like:

Here's what I got:

A giant, Alice in Wonderland type hat, with a backward pocket.

Doesn't Charlie look thrilled with her present? Yeesh.

Now that I'm more competent about thing such as gauge and bulky vs. baby yarn, I may reattempt...we'll see.

Does this make me a terrible mother?

2011-03-04T17:12:00.000-08:00

I think it might.

Anthropologie Wishlist

2011-03-04T11:34:00.001-08:00

I received my Anthropologie catalog in the mail yesterday, and entertained myself for awhile redecorating my home in my head. Here's some of the things I would love to have if money were no object:

In the kitchen:

Owl cookie jars:

This little bird and grapefruit sugar bowl:

This awesome milk jug/measuring cup combo:

All the while, wearing this pretty dress...I mean apron:

In Charlie's Room:

I'm in love with this mushroom pouf:

Which we would sit on while reading these beautiful children's classics:

On me:

A pretty one piece to cover up excess belly and C-section scars? Yes please!:

A sweet dress just in time for Easter:

Around the house in places yet to be determined:
These adorable poppy hooks...maybe in the kitchen to hold aprons, maybe in the doorway for coats or keys:

This beautiful pendant light. Probably in our living room to replace our current "boob" light that came with the house.

What are your favorite Anthropological finds?

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-03-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

Those of you who've known me awhile know my affinity for Barbie. I bought two Barbie tees at Old Navy soon after finding out Charlie was a girl. I waited impatiently for her to be big enough to rock them, and I'm happy to tell you, the day is here!

The breakdown:

BudsButtonsandBows headband - won through Etsy contest

Old Navy Graphic tee - $5

Carters longsleeved white onesie - gift

H&M jeans - gift

TJ Maxx Pink ballet slipper socks - set of 6 for $5.99

She's so excited about her shirt - obviously she'll be a Barbie fan too.

Five Months Old!

2011-03-01T12:01:00.000-08:00

I can't believe my little lady is 5 months old already! This time last year, I was only getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and now I have this big girl!

Currently Charlie is:

An observer of all around her. She gets so distracted in social settings, she forgets being hungry or tired and just watches quietly.
Enjoying exploring all the decibels of her voice. Screaming in such a high pitched tone only dogs can hear is a favorite.
Rolling over, but only for me. No one else has been given the privilege of seeing this trick.
Making it clear that her favorite place to sleep is on, or next to, me.
Wearing pants that are either too short, but fitting at the waist, or to big at the waist, but long enough.
Chewing on her fingers and pacifier at the same time, all the while talking.
Mastering the art of pulling a wad of spit up out of her mouth and draping it on me.
So happy and smiley.
My favorite.

Made By Me Monday

2011-02-28T12:02:00.001-08:00

A week before Charlie arrived my office threw me a potluck shower. I felt funny not contributing, so I made some little "cigars" for everyone to have.

These were made with:
10 packs of Rolos
Slightly sparkly brown and gold paper
Glue
Pink yarn
Paper Tags
Pink Marker

I just wrapped the Rolos in the brown paper and glued the seam, then cut out a little band from the gold paper and glued that on too. Then I tied a piece of yarn with a paper tag saying "It's a Girl!" around the middle and put them all in a cigar box. Presto! Inexpensive festive shower treat.

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-02-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

This is what I commonly refer to as Charlie's boy outfit. Despite the tunic style top, ruffles, bow, bear with flower, and polka dots of it all, this is the outfit she was wearing the only time I've ever heard the dreaded words, "Is it a girl? It's wearing blue." Sigh.

Although it is tainted with that memory, I still think it's adorable. The whole outfit is Carters. The top under the blue tunic has two little bears holding flowers embroidered on it, and a little blue bow at the collar, so if she spits up on the first layer, Voila! new outfit underneath.
This is said under shirt:

Bonus shot cause she's so stinking cute. Or, as I was told the other night, she won the genetic lottery. Sweet!

Baby Attack

2011-02-23T11:04:00.000-08:00

The joys of baby mood swings. I love how intense her face is in this picture with Auntie Chie.
And the sweet looks on her face with Uncle Chris, Uncle Tim and Papa.

Reaching is her new favorite. And grabbing, as demonstrated by her death grip on Uncle Chris's beard. It works out though, she carried my mail for me the other day.

Somewhere In Time...

2011-02-22T09:05:00.000-08:00

I worked on a slide show for my Grandma's memorial service and really enjoyed seeing so many pictures of her with my grandpa when they were dating and newly weds (they met and married within a few months). this was taken at a restaurant/live music show with friends
at the beach. I love her swim suit...Grandpa's is a bit too skimpy though :)

A picnic lunch

Isn't this the sweetest?

Easter Sunday...complete with an Easter bonnet

I'm so glad to know they are now reunited in Christ.

Made By Me Monday

2011-02-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

When I saw this tutorial, I couldn't wait to make one. I pulled out my scrap fabrics and some fat quarters, and chose this brown polka dot pattern for my first attempt:
I love how it turned out. My fabric was slightly shorter than what was called for, so it made a smaller Charlie sized flower. With a few quick stitches I added it to an elastic head band that immediately dresses up Charlie's outfits.

She loves to wear it (I assume, since she doesn't yank it off) to church.

Isn't it adorable! Make your own in about an hour. I'll probably make a bunch more, but I have to wait till I'm in an ironing mood...which is almost never.
Again, I'm curious...would you purchase something like this from an Etsy shop? What would you expect to pay?

Happy Birthday to my Original Baby

2011-02-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

Today my husband joins me in the last year of our roaring 20's. (Yes he's younger than me, cradle robbing runs in my family. My Grandma had 8 years on my Grandpa.) Our amazing friends Ryan and Meghan are coming over to take care of our tiny, and sending us off to Tim's favorite restaurant for dinner. We are so excited! It's been a l-o-n-g time since we've eaten out. I made a cute colorful "Happy Birthday" bunting rather than pull out the shiny metal birthday banner I bought years ago. I thought this was more fun and personal. It should be a happy night, full of little black dresses, yummy food, laughter, and later games and cake with Ryan and Meg. So excited!

Valentine's Day Revisited

2011-02-16T15:50:00.001-08:00

A glimpse at our Valentine's day:

Quick and easy construction paper decor

Charlie's Valentine's present from Nana and Papa

(He tells you that he "Wufs you" and his ears waggle)

Enjoying handmade cards from friends

Wearing red shoes - any excuse

Drinking red wine - any excuse

Snuggling my Sweets

What a wonderful Valentine's Day

What's Charlie Wearing Wednesday

2011-02-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

Today we defied the weather forecast (possible snow tomorrow? Yeesh.), and both Charlie and I opted for light weight cardigans over white tanks. This is the first outfit I've shared that I actually paid for in it's entirety. (Though the giraffe was a gift)

Charlie's flowery ruffley tank is from Old Navy - if I remember right it was $2.60. Her cardigan is Circo (Target) and I actually paid full price - $6.

The pants are part of the peacock ensemble from this post, and that whole outfit by Dwell Studio for Target was another $6 or so on clearance. The socks came in a 6 pack of multicolored ballet socks from TJ Maxx for $5.99.

I can't believe my baby is 20 weeks old. She's changed so much, today when I held her by the hands I was able to pull her from laying down to sitting up, and from sitting up to standing. Such a strong little girl. She also started rolling again, after a several week hiatus. Tim still has not seen her do this, poor guy. Hope you are having a great Wednesday!

Happy Valentines Day/Made By Me Monday

2011-02-14T12:56:00.001-08:00

I'm kinda cheating this morning with some super quick projects I did last night and this morning. I channelled elementary school with this heart bunting, alternating long and thin with short and stout:

Charlotte is wearing a dress from Old Navy, tights from a local consignment shop and little shoes from Target

Last night while Tim was at work, I took a white Gerber onesie and some sharpies and quickly made this little tee.

Since we're not in a position to go out, I'm doing some light decorating (switching orange pillows with red, and hanging the heart bunting) and brainstorming dinner ideas. Currently I'm thinking crepes with fruit and nutella, hashbrowns and chocolate chip cookies for dessert with some after dinner coffee and then wine after Charlie goes down. Exciting, right? What are your plans?

The Weekend...

2011-02-11T10:02:00.001-08:00

our weekend will be spent relaxing and playing board games (Monoply has made a come back in this house.) And, of course lots of snuggling will be done with this beauty. Tim has a potentially life changing job interview on Monday, so we'll also be spending time prepping and praying and probably day dreaming. How will you be spending your weekend?

Ten on Ten - in Charlotte's Room

2011-02-10T11:27:00.001-08:00

A new month

A fun friend
Wishful thinking

View from the crib

Coming soon

Monster in the closet

Japanese fairytale Q-Tip holder

Dotted Duckies

A little culture

Valentine's Day friend from Nana and Grandpa